Crabby Abby

my last night in my bed.

2011-02-21T23:55:00.000-06:00

so i should be tired since i have been up now for over 20 hours, but i am not.
the excitement has hit me.
i feel like i am forgetting something i shouldn't be.
i can't decide whether i want to bring my speakers or not.
or my white tank top.
seeing i have been diggin white lately.
but white is so bad when you backpack.
my room is dirty. i like to leave it at least semi clean.
my mom always cleans it when i do leave.
she can't wait to get in here and go through everything and put everything in its "place".
i have to set my alarm.
glad i remembered that.
for some reason yesterday and today i have had this unsettling feeling about this try.
i know in my heart it is just excitement, but my head is trying to call it out.
i know my heart will win, but i won't be surprised if my head trips it a couple of times.
even though i want to sit and write about my upcoming trip, i am not going to.
all we need to know is by this time tomorrow night i will be in a completely different place around completely different people.
and my bed here in wisconsin will be vacant.

my 18 hour day

2011-02-18T23:26:00.000-06:00

my day.
drove to alpine- around 6am.
worked. had 3 tables. dad came in.
came home.
went to courtneys.
decided that she is coming to nashville with jason and i in march
courtney and therefore bill as well.
nashville!
yay. i love that place.
such a great feel. its vibe.
got to brookfield mall.
bought shirts and lotion.
ooo and a car smelly mojito thing.
it made katie's car in florida smell like pineapples.
i hope it does the same for mine.
b.u.g.
:)
got pizza at the next door pub.
a place that holds the record for best sausage ever.
chilled at courtneys.
watched america's funniest home videos.
my favorite tv show.
came home.
missed my turn. as always.
showed my moms where my money went today.
and she liked all of them.
talked to jason via skype.
laughed a bit.
now making some music playlists for my trip in 3-4 days!
the playlist includes:
lslim
kites
work this
hihihi funkie january freedom
oldies but goodies
purple people eater
MY MIXXER
jangles
catch my disease
adam girl talk
bought me
sandals.
the ob-57
wailers... & b.m.
roadie
jiggy sand
bob marley

and that is what i have so far.
on my last trip i didn't put any good music on, just whatever i had on there.
this trip is different.
i got all of the above :)
oh and i saw the sun rise today with a beautiful deep pink with a speckle of cloud.
and the sunset was like a rainbow. red around the sun, then orange, yellow, green, blue purple.
check my twitter page to see pictures of them.
my twitter page with rises and sets

go be it......... just do it

2011-02-13T23:10:00.000-06:00

everything is finally hitting me.
tomorrow morning i leave for florida.
and tomorrow afternoon i will be in the sun... and the humidity.
among friends that i made over 4 years ago.
the day after that i will be wearing a space costume while asking people if they are ready to go to mars.
hoping and praying that the g-force doesn't cause them to have a protein spill.
i will be doing the same the day after that.
mixed in these next 3 days, i will be wondering aimlessly around walt disney world, soaking up the sun.
then i fly back to wisco on thursday.
on friday i work at alpine.
on saturday i work at alpine.
on sunday i work at alpine.
on monday i work at alpine.
the the mix of those 4 days, i will also be hanging out with friends, saying goodbye, packing,
and hopefully organizing things- just alittle bit.
then.
on tuesday- 9 days from now- i will be on a plane to costa rica.
on tuesday- 9 days from now- i will be in costa rica.
crazy thought.
crazy -9 days.
super pumped.
this is the stuff i work super hard for.
even though peoples don't think i do.
i do.
they just have to remember that my life is different then theirs.
my life is how i chose it to be.
and so is theirs.
and i am happy. and i am only able to hope they are too.
"and i'm frigheten by those who don't see it."

"decide what to be and go be it...
there was a dream... and one day i could see it... like a bird in a cage... i broke in and demanded that somebody to free it"-avett brothers.

ring around the roller rink

2011-02-11T22:48:00.001-06:00

so the last thing i want to do right now is be on my compueter.

but i am home.

by myself.

after a long day

and i am about to go to bed

so here ya go :)

today-

woke up.

went to work early to go snowboarding.

got 2 runs and and my strap on my binding broke :(

worked 6 hours with courtney and had fun with the kitchen.

came home.

courtney picked me up.

went to shopko

got some pink shirts to wear to work for valentines day this weekend.

saw my old coworker from lake geneva country club, karen and her daughter megan.

haven't seen them for over 8 years probably.

went to courtneys.

we played the piano and she played the violin.

we had a balancing on one leg contest that lasted over 5 minutes.

went and picked kc up in walworth cause he had to drop off lynnea's car.

drove by the delavan roller rink

and decided to go roller skating.

we ringed around the rink

and cheered for the limbo people.

dropped kc off.

went for a beer at new horizons.

a man with a long sliver ponytailed bought us two cherry bombs.

each.

she dropped me off.

ate some chips and taco dip.

and now.....

bedtime.

at last.

oh and i watched a funny video on facebook that my cousin nicki put off.

here it is.

something to pass around.

haha- it is funny. :)

have a good night.

remember to smile :)

and

dance.

and for some reason if i had indiana jones right now- i'd totally watch it.

cause i hate snakes..........

my week in rewind.

2011-02-10T22:08:00.001-06:00

wow- it has been awhile.
so i am about to watch this movie that i have been dying to watch- meet the rileys- so this is going to be quick. cause i thought i could watch the movie and do this, but the first scene came up and i missed it and i realized that i just have to relax during this film.
so a fast forward recap on my week.
sunday- worked 642 am to 545 pm. brought courtney home. bill made us superbowl food. pigged out. finished the game at my mom's with my mom :) PACKERS WON!! hellz yeah.
monday- went snowboarding. met dave and courtney and bill. visited grandpa and grandma at the home- came at the exact same moment as my dad- good minds think alike i guess. visited leslie and her 3 boys. haven't seen them in over a year. played super heros with the boys and wii's version of dance central with leslie. wasn't that great at it.
tuesday- woke up super early to simon (who is currently in laos) skyping me. cleaned room. worked out. drove to madison. went to see the wailers at the majestic with laura mili (bf from kindergarden) and griff garcia (sweet guy i met while in honduras- he spent my birthday with me :) ) and alex. one of his friends. had some tea and then some beers and danced the night away literally for like 4 hours at least. the wailers opening band was pretty sweet- tomorrow's bad seeds- the lead singer reminded me of andy and their music was golden. came back to lauras and made a major dent on this nacho cheese dip. no idea what time we went to bed.
wednesday- went and had breakfast with laura and tom (her hubby) in middleton. got huevos rancheros- not as good as when i had it in belize, but alright. stopped in janesville on the way home- best buy and tj maxx- bought a phone cover and some shoes. got home and slept for like 4 hours. cleaned my room again. watched tv and fell asleep early.
thursday- woke up early. messed about on my computer. talked to jason (who is in costa rica right now) and amy (who lives in england) on skype. cleaned my room again ( i have no idea how it gets so messy). went tanning (gotta keep a little tan going for when i go back to costa rica) and bought a video camera at walmart. dinner. american idol. nail polish. and now movie time :)

my week in a super duper fast forward mode. but all and all, a pretty good week. no complaints.
plus in 4 days i will be flying to walt disney world for 4 days!! working and getting to see some of my really great friends!! makayla and her fiancee wade, alyssa, and katie!! who all agreed to be my valentines day dates- i went from none to 3 (well the girls all did, i didn't even ask wade :) )
and in 12 days i will be flying to costa rica! super pumped to get back down to central america. super pumped for the beaches and the sun. super pumped to see and hang out with jason.

jason and i

oh yeah.
i don't really like the camera i bought. it is the kodak waterproof one. it seems pretty durable, but not that efficient. i am looking for one that can record at night and during the day. and last longer than 2 hours. anyone have any suggestions?

rocky road ice cream

2011-02-05T23:33:00.000-06:00

i got grounded once because i flushed chocolate ice cream down the toilet. i absolutely used to hate chocolate ice cream, but it was my mom's favorite flavor so we always had it in the freezer.

i remember taking my bowl into the bathroom, which was right in the middle of the kitchen and the family room and dumping it out. i got in without being noticed, but the problem was getting out. when i went to flush it, it didn't go down. the toilet water just watered down the ice cream, so it was just a lighter shade of brown. and i don't know how it happened, but i got caught.

i got grounded off of dessert for a week because i wasted food. so for the next week, all 3 brothers were constantly shoving their oreos, ice cream, brownies, and whatever other sweet my mom gave them in my face. all because i didn't like chocolate ice cream.

fast forward- this pic taken january 2009

fast forward til now.

i love any and every kind of ice cream. haha. literally, i love ice cream, but i never eat it because once i remember how good it really is, i crave it all the time.

and currently there is rocky road ice cream in my freezer. i have never had rocky road cause even though i love and will eat all ice cream, i still tend to stay away from chocolates.

so i tried some tonight... and did you know that there is marshmallows in it!?!? marshmallows!!

and boring almonds, but marshmallows.

how crazy and cool is that. i now officially love rocky road and plan on eating it everyday until it is gone.

lint catcher.

2011-02-03T23:59:00.002-06:00

did i ever tell you that i like to clean the lint catcher in the dryer.
i'm not sure why it gives me such satisfaction, but it does.
just so you know.

exactly 3 weeks.

2011-02-02T01:41:00.001-06:00

for exactly 3 weeks.
from today.
i leave for san jose, costa rica.
i am going back on my winter vacation.
3 weeks before just wasn't enough.
honduras, belize, and mexico is now in the past.
costa rica and panama is in the future.
hellz yes.
Z and Tao left to go to Hawaii.
Jason is still there and i will meet up with him.
and possibly Mandy Moore in panama.
even though i am currently in the 2x11 blizzard with at least one foot of snow currently blowing around on the ground. and at least another foot on its way. i am enjoying my time in wisconsin.
it definitely took me longer than it normally does when i come back.
but i finally got my groove on.
i have been making some money while working at the ski lodge.
bringing people their coffee while watching others wipe out on the hill.
i have been snowboarding at least 3 times a week.
and getting pretty darn good.
for me anyway.
i have been hanging out with my family. a lot.
my mommy.
everyday.
my dad.
whenever hes around.
adam.
who moved to new york this past week.
kc and lynnea.
kinect. football parties. dinner. going away parties. chicago.
andy.
going to the cemetery at least 3 times a week to see him.
my grandparents.
in their new nursing home.
all whom i love dearly.
i have been hanging out with friends.
and unfortunately being really lazy and not hanging out with others.
i have been relaxing and sleeping and watching movies.
i have been driving around listening to music.
i have been working out.
on the treadmill.
and with dance central from kinect.
and therefore
i have been dancing.
and
smiling.
and laughing.
and having fun.
my groove is : back.
and in 3 weeks.
it will tweak. just a little bit :)

me in wisco jan 31 2x11

paradise

2011-01-29T22:10:00.001-06:00

caye caulker, belize.

jen, j.d., me, and jason.

we are chilling out in the caribbean ocean at the split.

the lazy lizard bar is in the back round behind us and right in front of us is the beach.

the water is this gorgeous blue with stints of aqua in it that makes it look marbly.

there are no cars allowed on this island, so the only noise we hear are the waves and the

bumping beat of reggae.

the sun is out all day long so we lounge around in our swimming suits all day long.

liquor is cheap, but beer is cheaper.

lizard juice is full of rum and goes for a whopping 10 belize dollars ($5 USD)

and is known to kick you on your butt because it tastes so delicious

and is an electrifying lime green.

the locals mingle in the crowds and to the willing fill you in on

their thoughts of

happiness, love, and life.

oh and you can't forget the ghanga. everyone tries to fill you in on that, especially the locals.

for this and for that... for him and for her.... for me and for you...

this is paradise.

(pic taken december 30, 2x1x)

just breathe

2011-01-25T00:49:00.001-06:00

today i didn't do anything. literally.
i am feeling quite sick as my throat barely wants even air to go through it, let alone anything else.
so i slept. all day. well until like 1pm.
i took a shower. went to the bank.
went and visited my brother, andy.
was way too lazy and cold to actually walk out to the grave.
so i just sat in my car for a bit and listened to music.
and in reality it wasn't that i was too lazy and cold.
it was the fact that i wanted to hang out with him.
i needed that little boost today from him.
and i was just too sick to sit out in the cemetery in the foot of snow that surrounded him.
so i just closed my eyes and chilled for a moment.
i love that feeling of just breathing and when i get in a relaxed environment i allow myself to do that.
and that is what i did.
eventually i came back home and crawled into my bed to watch some movies that have been sitting on my floor for over a week now. both were kind of depressing, so that was why there was such a delay.
i talked briefly on skype to sophie, a english girl from my 5 week trip from new york to los angeles. and we talked mostly about guys and it was a good real girl talk.
i also talked to jason. we video chatted and it was really good to see him. he is in nicaragua at the moment and it seems like a lot longer than 3 weeks since i have seen him.
we planned to see each other again in less than a month. i am looking forward to that and the beaches that come with it.
now i am off to bed, even though i am not extremely tired, i know once i turn off the lights and close my eyes, my dreams will start a rollin'. maybe ill dream about the same thing i did last night. fingers crossed cause last night i got to not only see andy, but talk to him too. lucky me.
you take what you get- ya know what i mean??

night night.
(the first picture is 12-18-2x1x in Tela, Honduras. i wanted to go swimming within 24 hours from leaving chicago, so we did, in our clothes, and it was super fun. i put it up because i swallowed so much water cause the waves were very unpredictable that my throat hurt so much for the next few hours. the second picture is 9-2x1x in canada. the blue hole i think it is called. i put this one up cause it is so dreamy, like it feels real, but is it? )

happy day

2011-01-23T19:43:00.001-06:00

happy day.
a long one, but overall good.
woke up this morning after about 45 minutes of snooze.
drove in -9 degrees in the morning darkness.
was only 9 minutes late for work.
served. filled. brought. cleaned. polished. ate. chuckled. giggled. smiled. and had fun.
even though it was slow as molasses.
drove to burlington.
packer party at my brothers girlfriends house.
a house filled with family. her mom. her dad. her brother. her other brother. her brothers wife. her brothers daughter. and my brother. him and food.
lots of it.
and i ate it all!!!!
chips and bean/cheese sauce, 1/2 cheeseburger, a tomato slice, blue cheese dip, little cocktail weeniers, oreoes and milk, and mixed berry warm shortcake. and that is just what I ate!
drove home.
sitting on my bed.
with a head lamp on my head
getting ready to read.
"catch a fire"
by timothy white.
i like the extra light.
so....
happy day.

oh... and i found out a little vacation i have planned might actually work.
she knew my heart was in it and she is working on it. i'll keep you posted.
thanks kar-bear :) love ya.

my brother the rockstar

2011-01-21T00:32:00.000-06:00

so after the movie.

which was good, reminded me of "no country for old men"

didn't really like the ending and all the killings, but... i liked the campfires. and the old school lingo.

either way, after the movie i went to goodwill. no reason why, i just wanted to wonder around for a bit.

and here is the thing about goodwill. when you need a new shirt, shoes, dress, they are never to be found.

i can search for hours and never find anything.

but when you are just going in to poke around.

you end up trying stuff on out of the discount bin in front of the mirror by all the coats.

you end up taking your coat off, along with your purse, laying them on the floor and holding up items to yourself.

you end up or i end up talking to a younger woman (probably to be honest about my age, but with a 9 year old daughter) and asking her advice, telling her that the purse she is buying is a good brand (o'neil) which she had never heard of before. the coat she wants to buy for her daughter looks better on her. and that tank top she is thinking about buying would look good with a white white beater underneath.

you also end up with $37.98 of goodwill discount shirts at $1.49 each along with 2 purses.

at the register you start talking to the register girl whom 1 minute prior you asked if the purse i was about to buy was cute and she answered "i guess it kinda looks vintage" with a weird squinty look on her face.

she asks me if i have a goodwill card, so i spelled her my name.

h.i.m.e.b.a.u.c.h.

and as it clicks in her mind she burst out- "are you adam's sister?'

before i could answer she looks at me and says

"andy and the outcry was my favorite band"

"ive actually been to your house to watch them practice"

"i like never missed a show"

"i still have patches and stickers pasted all over my car"

"i loved them"

i sincerely smiled and said that was awesome.

she asked me how adam was doing, if he was still pursuing music and i said yes.

he is moving to new york in a couple of weeks.

she told me that was awesome. and that she was glad he was pursing music, his dreams.

and i went into my wallet and pulled out my ONE AND ONLY veoba sticker, which was the best one, it is a sketch picture of dick and asks if you "have seen this man" and gave it to her.

she said thanks that is so cool. put it on the register. and while i was swiping my credit card, picked it up and put it in her pocket and smiled.

i told her that adam was a really good writer and she should check him out on twitter as he is always posting interesting stuff.

she said she would and told me to have a good night.

i said the same and walked away with my bag of goodies.

chicago- 1.14.2x11

today.

2011-01-20T16:24:00.000-06:00

today i woke up early.
but early i mean 533 am.
and was wide awake.
i understand why i got up that early cause i usually get up at that time for work,
but today i didn't have to work. 730 am
and was wide awake.
how come when i have to go to work i am never as awake as i was today.
when i have to go to work, i hit snooze for at least 45 minutes. at least.
and get up and get ready (yes, shower included) all in like 10-11 minutes.
and everyday i am at least 10 minutes late.
but today, i chilled in my room until about 730 am.
got up.
made some tortillas with an egg and some avocado.
went tanning. yes- i know. but i just got back from vaca like 2 weeks ago and i want it to last a little longer.
then i went to post office- mailed a package to california.
visited my grandparents in their nursing home.
it was good seeing them.
they both are looking good.
and they BOTH remembered who i was this time :) bonus.
oh and i showed my grandma a picture of casey, adam, and i, and she shook her head and said "i can't get over the fact that adam looks like a girl" haha. i laughed, defended him. she said it was cause of his long hair, which it isn't even long at the moment, but it made me laugh out loud more than once today. lol.
i left, returned some stuff at kohls, bought some cd's and fruit at walmart.
went to the bank. found out my bank lady was getting a divorce... finally. and totally high-fived her and wished her luck.
now i am talking to a friend on skype. miss amy waldo. who lives in england and i love her so.
and in 10 i am going to go see "true grit" with courtney and bill.
pretty pumped.
so my day off, so far so good, but i could always use a nap :)

feedback.

2011-01-20T15:38:00.000-06:00

so i seem to be getting a lot more people looking at my blog....
or the same people over and over and over again.
either way, i still don't have very many followers
nor do i get a lot of comments
(for the ones i do get- thank you :) )
so if you are reading my blog
for whatever reason
and find something interesting
something disturbing
something funny
something sad
something memorable
whatever it may be
i would appreciate some comments every now and then from my little audience.
or maybe a new follower or two.
cause for some reason,
whatever reason,
you are looking up my name on google and getting what you want
so why don't you give me what i want.
FEEDBACK!!!

8 and riding....

2011-01-20T10:49:00.000-06:00

so hi.

for some reason on my days off i like to do nothing.

but i always seem to be doing something.

this weekend i worked about 45 hours in 4 days.

i was crazy busy.

tuesday was my first day "off"

meaning i only had to work 5 hours.

i went snowboarding.

i also went snowboarding on wednesday.

i was tempted to go ride today again,

but it is so damn cold, i think i am going to pass.

plus i feel a little beat up from yesterday.

muscles i didn't even know i had are aching.

but that is all a good sign.

i have a new competition going on with a friend of mine from england.

we are going to see who loses 8 pounds first

a 1/2 of stone as she would say it.

she is very competitive as am i

so this will be one great challenge.

whoever wins

gets a present of the others choice.

meaning, if i lose,

waldo

(one of my best buds-also my competition in this 'race')

gets to pick out a present for me

and if she wins, i get to pick out a present for her.

either way, whether if i win or lose

she is still going to get a present for the work she has done.

but trust me

i wanna win and i gotta win :)

blah

2011-01-16T22:08:00.000-06:00

i wanna try to go to bed
since i have been majorly lacking sleep this entire weekend and have to work bright and early tomorrow,
but i feel like i have to write something.

frustrating.

grown up.

smiling.

laughing.

good girl.

argumentative.

happy.

work.

play.

party.

bar.

car rides.

back seat.

old friends.

new friends.

hippies.

crimp.

flinstones.

cold.

snow.

food.

drinks.

tips.

family.

football.

dance.

zumba.

sad.

happy.

sad.

and happy.

confused.

the most important person in my life has to be me.

2011-01-13T10:12:00.000-06:00

so things didn't go according to plan.

i messed everything up by trying to do the right thing for other people and not for myself.

that is one quality i have to change about myself.

i just have to start being a little more selfish.

otherwise i will never be completely happy.

i was a bit selfish this year for christmas/birthday/new years and even though at points i was sad

i was happy.

i have to remember that when making future decisions about my life.

cause i have messed this one up royally.

i have to stop putting myself in the dark.

uuuuuuuggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,

a winter day in wisco

2011-01-12T19:17:00.000-06:00

i am not sure where i want to go with this post
or even what i want to talk about.
i am just a little bit bored at the moment and have no desire to do anything else.
so i guess i will tell you about my day.
i woke up earlier this morning (7am) and all i wanted to do was sleep.
so i poked around on my computer while laying in bed til about 11am.
i then got up and made myself an egg, avocado, tomato tortilla wrappy thing.
i then came upstairs to take a nap (don't ask me why) but changed my mind a took a shower.
i went to the post office to mail some cd's to neil and granny
and i also mailed my olympus waterproof camera back to olympus cause it broke my first day of vaca.
that is right, my very first day.
i then drove to elkhorn, a town about 10 minutes away from me, to visit my grandparents in their new abode.
and by abode, i mean their new nursing home for people that need a lot of help.
i first saw my grandpa, he had just finished eating lunch and still had it on his face to prove it.
he had no idea who i was at first, but i think that was because he wasn't wearing his glasses.
he had his "bib" in his hand and he told me he needed somewhere to get rid of it.
i asked him why and he said because they try to make him eat squash and he didn't want to, so he hid it in his "bib". too funny. he wheeled himself over to by my grandma, who has certain restrictions at the moment, so we all had to wear masks. we talked briefly about my trip and my grandpa told me i was a world traveler and my grandma told me that i didn't look very tan for being gone for 3 weeks. my grandma then had to go to therapy, so i hung out and talked to my grandpa for a bit. we talked about marriage and how he was 22 when he was married and my grandma was only 19 and now they are both almost 90 and how people these days don't try and make it work. i told him i don't know if i ever want to get married and he told me that it is possible if you really love the person. we also talked about how andy would be 24 right now and how crazy that is. i explained how i was curious on what he would look like and what he would be doing. he told me that when he died he thought it should of brought my family together and that it did the exact opposite. i almost started crying, but didn't cause i didn't want him to start crying. he also told me that is was something that happened and that i have to learn how to deal with it. there was a lot of silence in that hour that my grandma was gone, but it was well thought out silence, which was kinda what i needed at the moment. grandma came back and then i left.
i stopped at audra's cause she lives in elkhorn. i watched her little baby for a bit while she went to go pick up her daughter daisy from school. when daisy got back i played barbie jet with her and made the jet take us to paris. we also played make-up and i watched her play wii as i talked with audra.
i told audra my dilemma about going back to central america and she told me just to do it. what do i have to lose... which is a good point, so i have to take that into consideration even more.
on my way home i bought a powerball ticket and stopped at hernendez to get there homemade chips that are so delicious. while i was there i bought some beans and rice as well- oh do i miss central america's food. i came home- ate a bit and then bared the cold once more to get a movie at blockbuster. i got the movie 12. i don't know why i have never heard of it, but that is now my plan for the night. im finally doing my vaca's laundry and think i might go play kinect for a bit, but in all reality i am ready to sleep right now... so we'll see how long i make it.

maybe it's not a miracle

2011-01-12T10:44:00.000-06:00

i'm blind!!!

well not really, but sometimes i feel like it.

before i went on vaca i went to the eye doctor, whom i love. if you live in delavan you must go to the eye doctor in walmart- he is the nicest, most gentle man. anyway, he looked at my eyes and told me that i was cured. and by cured, i mean that i don't need to wear glasses anymore period! isn't that crazy. i went from a 1.75 and a 1.25 (which in reality isn't that bad) to a 0.0 and and 0.5 (cause I have an astigmatism). he told me that i should never put my glasses on again! i was confused, but happy. glasses are annoying and contacts are even more annoying. so i walked away a happy camper.

and i waited... i waited for my eyes to adjust to not wearing glasses/contacts anymore and i did not know how long that would take considering i have been wearing them since i was 21.

finally today the waiting stopped. my eyes hurt, i am constantly squinting or rubbing them. i thought maybe this miracle happened because i got indirectly struck by lighting in july in charleston, south carolina at a plantation, but as of right now i don't think that is the case.

i just made an appointment for tomorrow to get them rechecked. i can't go on living like this :) i don't want to admit that this miracle didn't happen, but i do want to see it when the next one does.

both of these pics are from october 2010.

and come to think of it on sunday, oscar, a guy i work with at alpine, asked me where my glasses were. i told him i didn't need them anymore and he told me that i look better with them on! maybe its a sign... what do you think?

my reality is different than your reality

2011-01-08T23:56:00.001-06:00

back to reality.

that is what someone said to me the other day.

and it kinda confused me.

isn't everyday real?

my reality might be different than your reality, but it is still reality.

i don't make up my life. my life is how it is because that is how it is.

does that make sense?

im just lucky to realize how amazing life can be.

this past vaca i have never been as happy as i was.

i was only gone for 18 days, but i changed more in those 18 days than i have in the past 18 months.

i realized how to make me happy.

and it is easy.

just be happy.

not only to myself, but everyone around me.

and when i say everyone i mean everyone.

and that happiness spreads like wild fire.

click here if you don't want to worry and just be happy

my favorite song in the whole world.

(i especially like the top highest rated comment- so true)

monsters inc

2011-01-08T00:41:00.000-06:00

today i was in walmart.
i had to print out pictures for my moms brithday present.
and her brithday was today.
so before i came home from work (my first day)
i had to get these pictures printed.
i sent them online to walmart before i lef this moring at around 6 am.
i had never done it before.
i uploaded them and everything.
at a super speed pace because i like to hit snooze way too much.
i worked in east troy for 8.73 hours at alpine valley.
i am a server in the dining room there.
today was miserable for me.
the first time i had officially served tables since maybe may.
and it was super duper slow. like real real real slow.
and all i thought about was leaving work and getting on a plane to fly down to central america.
and doing it just for myself and no one else.
for once.
but i didn't leave.
i actually stayed til 3pm and ate a pot roast sandwich (which is sitting in my purse right now)
ew.
and pork tamales (leo gave them to me for free so i could try them
and not only do i love- LOVE tamales
they also reminded me of hot tamales. hot tamale and a cold coke. in a glass bottle.
whenever
and where ever)
i also ate 2 bowls of cereal and some eggs and 2 sausage links with syrup.
disgusting.
anyway
left work.
stopped at walmart to get my pictures printed out.
went to the little one hour machine thinking that i would login or something and they would be there.
but they weren't.
i had to ask the desk clerk guy in the photo area.
i pulled out my phone
logged in and asked him to do the rest.
his name was josh
and he was from clinton
and he had never done that on a phone before.
hit pay for it in the store
and wait...
wait....
1 hour...
ugh.
it takes me 8 minutes to get home when there is no traffic
14 when there is traffic
by the time i get home get orgazined
ill have to come back.
and i can't go home without my moms birthday present.
so i go the bathroom to stall time.
i move and i wait.
i wait...
right in front of a $1788 flat screen tv.
along with a $1488 one
and a $1198 one
and another big one.
and i watch
monsters inc
for over 40 minutes.
with boo and mike
and the scare floor.
i get bumped into a couple times.
at one point a whole family of 6 stood in front of me
so i just watched the $1198 one instead.
it was great.
i wore my green hat that my mom made for me
my new black snowboarding drange coat.
which i love.
.
they rushed my order.
done a bit over 40 minutes later.
i paid
and went home.
and for the record
i think monsters inc is a great movie.
i love it.

-it's alright to dance by yourself-

2011-01-06T23:03:00.000-06:00

i was the happiest i have ever been.
i said it loud and proud.
i kinda rubbed it in your face a little bit cause for once i didn't care.
i wasn't going to pretend.
i wasn't going to kiss you just because you cornered me.
i wasn't going to kiss you just because you had good reasoning.
i wasn't going to kiss you just because i had before.
i've changed.
you are no longer what i longed for.
you are no longer what i needed.
but in reality you never were.
everything snapped into place for one second with us.
and i enjoyed the pop.
but more importantly i enjoyed the silence before and after.
sometime the distraction is all you need.
everything is now good between us.
everything is real.
i am real.
if you disagree, then i am sorry.
in reality i am sorry anyway.
life comes at us from every which way.
i have finally decided to pick one and walk down it by myself.
all by myself.
but i'm not going to walk.
i am going to dance.
cause lord knows... i love to dance.

haight street- san francisco- 2xx9

my birthday heard from all over the world

2011-01-06T22:42:00.000-06:00

facebook makes remembering peoples birthdays really easy.

all you have to do is to log into your account and it says.

hi- today is so and so's birthday.

so easy right?

the problem with me is that i am not a fb stalker.

i do not go on fb to waste time or go through peoples pictures.

not that i think there is anything wrong with that (to an extent of course).

anyway. i was gone this year on my birthday.

the first birthday i have ever spent away from my family.

it was very difficult, but i survived and so did my family and it will be a birthday/christmas

i will never forget.

so today, i am looking over my fb wall seeing i haven't really used the internet in 3 weeks and i came across all my birthday messages.

i have a lot of friends on fb, therefore i have a lot of birthday messages too.

the thing that caught me by surprise is how many different countries wished me a happy birthday this year.

are you ready for it?

these are all countries that sent me a message on my exact birthday- which happens to be christmas.

which makes it even more special when people take the time out of their christmas day to remember me.

so here is goes:

england

scotland

sweden

england

wisconsin wisconsin

england

belgium belgium

sweden

england england england

wisconsin wisconsin

california

jamaica

ohio

scotland

wisconsin

switzerland

canada

sweden

england

wisconsin

england

wisconsin

germany

wisconsin

england england

wisconsin wisconsin wisconsin wisconsin wisconsin

norway

minnesota

wisconsin wisconsin

oklahoma

wisconsin wisconsin wisconsin wisconsin

england england

wisconsin wisconsin

italy

wisconsin wisconsin

scotland

wisconsin

england

delaware

sweden

wisconsin

illinois illinois

belgium

wisconsin wisconsin wisconsin

california california

wisconsin

new york

illinois

wisconsin

florida

connecticut

alabama

illinois

wisconsin wisconsin

germany

wisconsin

so. there you go. that is all i got. plus a couple of texts, but seeing i was in a different country myself, i didn't really expect anything. they were mostly from the states and england anyway.

represent.

coming into my 29th year on a world wide ball of fire....

2011-01-04T23:45:00.001-06:00

i'm back baby :)
had the most amazing past few weeks away in central america.
kinda wasn't wish i was back.
it is already, but as always good to see my family.
more to come i promise. this trip was epic.

why me?

2010-12-05T00:30:00.000-06:00

today is one of those crazy days that you might remember forever.

too tired to tell the story, but brief overview.

woke up by hitting snooze on my alarm for 49 minutes.

wore my pajamas to shovel the sidewalk because we got our first snowfall of the year of a mighty 6 inches.

enough to make me sweat.

took a shower.

got all my snowboarding gear together- new and old. pants. coat. mittens. bandana/scarf. hat. googles-which my mom found. boots. and board.

drove to alpine.

talked to my alpine boss and got a free lift ticket.

met lynnea.

rode the hills.

had a bloody mary and 1/2 of a pot roast sandwich.

spent 15.50 dollars.

rode the hills 5 more times.

and wiped out.

filled out paperwork in the dining room at alpine.

drove home.

moved my car like 3 times so the plow man had somewhere to plow.

called the plow man.

took a nap.

took a shower.

got a voicemail from my dad.

cried.

got dressed.

drove to lake geneva.

cried a bit more.

met kc, lynnea, ryan, holly, and lindsey at simple for dinner.

a organic restaurant in lake geneva.

had some polenta and pork tenderloin.

had some apple pie, but only a bite cause the carmel was burnt.

told the owner the carmel was burnt.

finished my glass of pinot noir.

drove with lynnea to ryan and holly's in burlington.

played a game.

heard the phrase "whacked off" a lot.

laughed.

drove home from burlington.

ate a bit of my leftover chinese from last night.

brushed my teeth.

crawled into bed.

2010-12-04T00:52:00.000-06:00

harry potter tonight with karianne.
then............

K to the B

2010-12-02T13:28:00.000-06:00

I saw this commercial yesterday and it took me a minute to grasp it.
I have always loved kevin bacon until I saw him in "River Runs Through It."
For some reason that movie has always haunted me. I mean I can remember that exact moment that I saw it. I was sitting in the kitchen of my old house on the hard wood floor. It was during the day and it really disturbed me.
But now... because of THIS commercial... I think I can say I'm finally over it.
I now like kevin bacon again.
actually I think I might love him. hahaha.
watch it.
Kevin Bacon Commercial

2010-12-02T00:45:00.000-06:00

today four different people called me. only four, but two of them called me multiple times.

today four different people texted me. only four, but in addition to those four, i texted two people- both which didn't text me back.

out of those four people that called me- not one of them lives in Wisconsin. one lives in Chicago (but is from Ohio), one lives in Boston (but is from New York), one lives in Los Angeles and is from Los Angeles, and the other is from Detroit, but is currently in Mexico on his way to Central America.

I know them all from Trek.

out of my text message friends. one I met in Milwaukee and is from Milwaukee. two I met during Trek and those are the gentlemen listed above- NY and Chicago. and the two that didn't text me back- one i met during Trek and is randomly from Wisconsin, but is currently somewhere in AZ or CA. and the other is my dad- and that is all i have to say about him.

and so i wonder why tonight i just hung out at home by myself?

is it because i actually wanted too?

or is it because that everyone i talked to today lives a lot farther away then i can spit?

oh wait... just as i am finished my best friend called.

i met him in florida at disney world.

he lives in connecticut.

go figure.

2010-11-29T00:28:00.000-06:00

lately i've been feeling like i can't be myself.

i feel as if i am constantly being judged.

not only by old acquaintances, but also by my people who are suppose to be my people.

i feel as if i am not allowed to be myself cause they don't think myself is myself. if that makes sense.

it kinda hurts sometimes.

my life has taken many turns in the past few years. some of them good some of them bad, but all of them are apart of me and who i am today.

i have changed drastically

i will be the first to admit that

but all for the better.

and by that i mean for the better of me.

me is a word i have trying to fit more into my life lately.

it is someone i have to pay more attention too.

i try to never regret things that i have done, but i do tend to regret things that i haven't done.

i feel like when i can't be myself, i am pushed into a corner looking for a way out.

but while i am looking sometimes i just curl up in a little ball and sit there.

sometimes it is only for a few seconds before i burst my way through,

but other times it is minutes, hours, days, weeks, months before i finally sneak my way out.

and like i said, i regret the things i haven't done not the things that i have.

cause the things i have, created me.

i am me.

hear me ROAR

ss's log cabin

2010-11-28T23:54:00.000-06:00

red gatorade.

red bull.

stoli raspberry and red bull.

uv fourloko.

goose island.

jack and coke.

red gatorade.

i guess i was thirsty.

black friday

2010-11-27T01:02:00.001-06:00

i did what anybody would do the day after thanksgiving.

well anybody that drank fourloko last night, ate more than their body weight in turkey, and played board games until 130am-

i slept. i ate. i slept. i ate some more. i worked out. i ate. i played trivial pursuit with my brother, my mom, and joe. joe and i won. i ate some more. i worked out again. i played on the computer. my other brother came over with his girlfriend. i ate some more. we watched jonah hex. and now i am laying in bed.

i just talked to my friend mike from los angeles. he made me feel like i was getting old. he also told me some random rumors he heard about me and got off the phone to finish watching his football game.

now i just got off the phone with dennis from connecticut. he is one of my bestest friends. i haven't talked to him in days though. he made me feel lazy cause i haven't worked in a few weeks and he is making so much money at work lately. he got off the phone to go work out.

i did not spend one penny today.

so bite me black friday.

2010-11-19T01:00:00.001-06:00

up still up bookworm?

maybe......

maybe.... you in a coma?

wow- you are the smartest man alive! how did you know? are you in one too?

actually yes... drifting away... sweet dreams

after while.....

2010-11-19T00:47:00.000-06:00

it's important to remember that you can't always get what you want.

you can try and you definitely should try

but sometimes it is just not going to work out for you.

but remember this

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.

Albert Einstein

Here are some other quotes that kinda have the same feel as Albert's.

So stand up and be proud.

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.

George Carlin

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.

Samuel Beckett

Well, I think we tried very hard not to be overconfident, because when you get overconfident, that's when something snaps up and bites you.

Neil Armstrong

challenge

2010-11-17T23:21:00.000-06:00

the next person you see. compliment them.
on the first thing that stands out.
their hair, their shoes, their eyes, their smile, their coat, their car, their laugh, anything.
it will definitely make them feel better
and it will make you feel better too.

2010-11-15T11:33:00.000-06:00

i dreamt about andy last night. i got married in a cute white short puffy dress with flourescent pink shoes, we moved (with a government truck that only my dad could drive, through the woods literally into a house that i was scared to sleep in, but didn't want him there himself and someone was massacring us... and he knew he was dead and didn't care. and i just can't get over it.

2010-11-09T01:06:00.002-06:00

hi. not really sure what i want to say today.

so ill give ya a rundown of how my day went.

woke up-

ate- leftover meatball and noodle thing.

cleaned part of my room- yet again.

started my p90x workout. coreflexic or something like that. a hour of hell basically.

then i watched failure to launch.

took a shower.

listened to some bluegrass while working out on my poi's outside.

getting better, but i like instant gratification on some things and this isn't one of those things.

plus i hit myself in the face pretty hard and that was not very encouraging.

finished my movie.

rode my bike to the library.

rushed cause i thought it was going to be stolen.

it is a cool beach bike. which has or should i say had an amazing name, but for the life of me i cannot remember it. ugh.

rode it home when i came up on the driveway, i rode through all the beautiful yellow leaves that are piled in the driveway.

i even did a cool slide brake into them, but almost wiped completely out cause they were slippery. so back in the garage it went.

then i popped in jane austin book club movie.

then watched he's just not that into you.

all while having multiple conversations via phone, text, email, and messaging.

i opted not to go to vegas this week to see oli, an old trek friend which i actually visited in belgium, which i am extremely sad about,

but decided to go to mad-town on wednesday to see a best friend from kindergarden.

and milwaukee on friday to see a best friend from high school.

which we are all best friends, i was in both of their weddings with both of them. they will be in my wedding..... if i ever get married..... or positive thinking.... when i get married. hahaha.

then i made a pizza with my mama- three meat lovers, which is funny cause i don't ever really eat meat on my pizza, well not that much meat. while the pizza was being made, i had absolutely no patience for it, which is ironic cause i am used to cooking all my meals at a campsite, which takes a minimum of one hour, but these 22 minutes were taking way to long.

so my mama and i decided to play cribbage. i announced the last time i played cribbage was in seattle with two other trek leaders (mandy and chris) and even though i lost, the next day at the office i told everyone that i won and chris, the actual winner got extremely angry, i loved it.

while playing with my mom i got the best hand ever, well a 24 point hand which is pretty damn good according to me and my mama and everyone else that has ever played cribbage! needless to say i skunked her.

and now, after my pizza and beer, i just finished watching the devil wears prada.

so it is officially time for bed.

my body is extremely tired from the bike riding, poi dancing, and p90x.

so even though i want to talk, i want to express how i am really feeling today, i think it is best for me just to go to bed.

what are the odds?

2010-11-07T16:31:00.000-06:00

woke up curled up on a black leather love seat at my friend morgan's friends house. i saw someone making oatmeal and pretended to still be asleep until they went back into their room. as soon as their door closed, i jumped up and woke morgan and we scooted out of there as fast as possible.

we got back to morgans, still feeling a bit glossy, and fell back asleep for another hour.

morgan went to work and i went to the dog haus on brady street. i got a chicago style hot dog and fries as well as an italian beef.

the drive home was miserable, even though it was already almost noon.

almost as soon as i walked into the door i went upstairs to go to bed. even though it was phone call after phone call, i ignored them all and managed to sleep until like 345pm. still feeling groggy when i woke. i jumped in the shower and managed to get myself ready, i am pretty sure i wore the exact same outfit i had on the night before, and drove to a friends to get my hair cut. i haven't seen this girl in a very long time and it was nice to check up. it was crazy to see that her little girls are already 6 and 7, even though i consistently think of them as 4 and 5. after my trim, i came back home and finished watching inglorious bastards while playing on my comp. still feeling sick, i wanted to stay in bed all night, but instead decided to go see a movie with a buddy of mine. he picked me up and we saw "due date". it was so super funny. what was also funny was that someone was throwing stuff at me during the movie. we sat in the front, but off to the side, by ourselves and every once and awhile something would hit me. soon one hit my chest and the little bullets ended up being candy corn. someone was throwing candy corn at me. what are the odds? i mean really. instead of getting mad and turning around and making a big deal about it, i ate it. haha. jk. i didn't eat it, i just laughed.

when the movie was over, i got dropped off and my night was suppose to be pretty much over, even though it was only like 930pm.

i popped in "calendar girls" and started to clean my room. yes, i know i clean my room everyday, but it has yet to be cleaned.

then the phone started to ring and it didn't seem to stop. if anyone has every tried to call me, they soon realize i am a huge call screener. i don't like to talk on the phone that much, therefore i have to be in the mood to do it, but if i am in the mood you better watch out. don't get me wrong, i am not one of those people that prefer to text either. there are times and places to talk and text and those rules i follow deliberately. but last night, i opted for two conversations. one with my friend from los angeles. and one with my friend from los angeles, but he was in san fran at that moment. i miss them both, but either way... im here and they are there and that is that.

i finished watching my movie and ended up falling asleep with my computer on my lap and my glasses on my face. didn't fix that til like 5 am this morning. i must have been tired.

yesterday....

2010-11-05T20:13:00.000-05:00

yesterday.
I woke up early to go back to bed until like 11am. Then I putz around for a bit before I started going through my tupperware boxes in the garage with all my trek stuff. It's funny the things you find after a summer of craziness. For the next couple of hours I cruised around my house in various items which included: a davy croquet hat i bought at an alabama gas station for $10 bucks, a feathered eye mask which i got my first night in new orleans ever and wore until i went to bed 6 hours later, 3 leis which i bought for a cross country trip in san diego, but didn't bring them out until after the trip during our visit to santa monica beach, and some tall tan leather boots which were bought in vancouver canada at a vintage shop where my passenger helped me take them on and off to decide what pair i wanted.
i also brought out of my tupperware a stuffed bat which was bought in carlsbad caverns national park, a voodoo doll from new orleans, 2 heart rocks from the ice fields in jasper national park and la push beach in washington, jacko my giraffe mascot that traveled with me 5 weeks across the country, and various other random things.
i also found my poi's and played with them for about an hour in my house. i bought those in durango colorado and they are bright pink and green and hurt when you get hit by them.
during this clean up, i watched my mom make chex mix, which i had to run to walmart to get pretzels for, and mowed down on that for about an hour. i ate so much my tummy hurt and i had to take a two hour nap.

i woke up to play with the poi's again ( i want to get good enough to play with the fire poi's) talked to a few friends and watched some girly movies.... mona lisa smile, joe versus the volcano, and inglorious bastards. i finished the night off with popcorn and a beer.

Jacko being eaten my a T-Rex in the Smithsonian Museum Washington D.C.

2010-11-02T21:56:00.000-05:00

i met this guy one time.

and he touched me in a totally different way.

but instead of embracing it, i stood proud.

instead of embracing it, i stood proud.

and ended up walking away by myself.

sometimes i think of him

and sometimes

i miss him a bit.

2010-11-02T00:49:00.002-05:00

Where are we?
What are we doing?
Is this my life?

2010-10-31T15:13:00.000-05:00

LIFE

where all your dreams go up in smoke......

and all thats left is.........

you

get lost...........

2010-10-26T12:27:00.000-05:00

it was hard for me to say goodbye to you.
i don't know if you noticed but i leaned my head back behind the door frame so i didn't have to look into your eyes.
i am sincerally gonna miss you and your open heart.

who dat?

2010-09-29T00:34:00.001-05:00

so here is goes. as quick as possible.

left memphis/graceland early had to pull over cause trailer was messed up and used pink duct tape to fix.

tired and hungry while driving ate lots of mints.

tess sat in front with me and duckie tried to take over dj seat after lunch, but quickly got vetoed.

lunch at a graveyard- only place with picnic tables. i napped.

arrived in new orleans at around 4pm.

walked all up and down bourbon and royal to find this restaurant to eat dinner at.

found the one i was looking for and didn't like it, so found another one.

bought beads for my peeps.

after walking around i had only 25 minutes to get ready for the night.

showered.

met up with my peoples and walked down to bourbon street to eat dinner at the cajun cabin.

ate red beans and rice- a monday favorite in new orleans on the balcony overlooking bourbon.

got everyone in to fat catz and duckie danced away.

went to cat's meow for karaoke and everyone danced on the stage at one point throughout the night.

went to bourbon cowboy bar and watched nat ride the mechanical bull. i wanted to do it, but i had a dress on and that was one dirty mechanical bull.

everyone left, but tess and waldo and that is when the night got crazy.

we drank a lot and only got kicked out of one club, but then got apologized too and free drinks from the manager. we didn't go home til 430am and i woke up this morning to waldo breathing deeply next to me.

at 1pm.

waldo and i- very beginning of night.

the official look of disgust : Fat Catz on Bourbon Street

today was a different story.
bikinis and pool for our shower. up and down up and down til we decided to eat at the house of blues cause it had live music. but really it had no music and no people. we at in the voodoo lounge and krie was our server. he told us we were sexy and beautiful- he knew how to work for his tips.
ate some burgers and had some bloody marys. i then smelled of vodka for the rest of the day. ew.
then stopped in a cigar rolling store for the atm.
walking by the pedestrian mall we stopped to have our cards read.
by sabrina.
she was dead on with me and it was scary. first word she used to describe me: chaos.
then we walked home. hung out by the pool.
left to go to bourbon street for jazz. split up- we ate po-boys and got free sugar free red bull. saw tree man/lady same one that we saw earlier.
people watched for a bit- left the group to do my passenger shopping.
walked home. almost peed my pants.
saw a big cockroach run across my floor and am a little freaked out now.
group came home and angel sprayed parrot with rape spray and he turned completely purple.
i heard them get yelled out for being loud and i asked what happened and parrot just lifts up his arms and said this happened. it was all over him. so funny.
now my early night comes to an end. at midnight.
tomorrow swamp tour and back to camping.

2010-09-27T07:41:00.000-05:00

alright ya'all, im not going to pretend i am not extremely tired, but i wanted to make note of today cause it was really great.
woke up in nashville really early to people wondering where i was cause i was sleeping in the back seat instead of the front.
actually i am literally kinda falling asleep, so it is going to be bullet points without the bullets.
gas station, opry house, but no opry house cause of the flooding.
walmart stop, them memphis camping.
had lunch and walked over to graceland. graceland.
so fun.
dads bday.
hurry and get into the van
pink cadillac.
k
done.
i can't do it any longer.
apple pie. a la mode
parrot.
airplanes. graves. mansion.
peanut butter and banana grilled sandwich.

2nd day of 21

2010-09-23T22:47:00.000-05:00

today was my 2nd day with my new group and it went better than the first.
not that the first was bad, but i like when people are excited about things and they were lacking that a bit.
this morning i woke up at, well i got out of the van at 821 am. i told them we were leaving at 845 am and didn't see anybody. i will admit i was a little angry, but slowly they started to turn up and we were only 4 minutes late from my leaving time. traffic was a little bit crazy, but we made it to wamo by ten to 9. i dropped them off and found parking like 4 million miles away, but they got me a free ticket to go up the 520 feet of the wamo.
after we got our fair share of the city from above, i got a popsicle and heading back to the van, half expecting for a ticket to be waiting for me cause it took a lot longer than i thought it was going to take. but i was all good.
i decided to leave the city and go back to camp and of course, i got lost i went south instead of north on the highway and was so tired i didn't even notice til a ways done.
i got to the grocery store and took a nap in the van. super bad idea considering i was in straight sunlight and it was like 90 degrees today. i woke up in a sweaty panic cause i thought i was at the campsite instead of a parking lot and was totally confused.
alright... too tired to finish. so the rest of my thoughts very briefly.
grocery shopped.
camp.
cooked my dinner for tonight- including a pasta dish, cut up watermelon, broccoli, cheese and crackers all while listening to a sweet playlist and being scared twice by camp employees trying to take care of our bee problem.
did the dishes in sanitary sinks in the middle of the woods.
left our site to take a shower.
forgot knives, forks, and spoons. walked back to camp to get them.
went back to the grocery store to get ice and rotisserie chicken. saw nick- another trek leader.
stopped at best buy for a portable ipod player.
went back tot the city.
dropped off my picnic to my group at exactly 5pm (our meeting time). ate. well didn't, well i had a pickle, and went over the first nights talk and our itinerary. and activities and got basically no reaction from my group.
played frisbee. played ultimate frisbee on the dead grass of the mall area in dc. scored once and had my spot taken over by another passenger.
looked for a toilet for ages. didn't find one. well found like 100 porta potties, but they were all locked off.
got lost on the way home and added 14 extra minutes of van time.
everyone went swimming. got my stuff to go swimming, but by the time i got here pool was closed.
watched tv for a bit in the lounge area.
played some cards. tied and then lost (again, i think i won, but was being nice to a pax).
watched family guy and now bed time.
oh- and i got hit in the head with the frisbee and my face really hurts and i am praying that it is from that instead of me getting sick :(

2010-09-21T23:23:00.000-05:00

tomorrow morning i leave on a new trek.
i am a little nervous, definitely excited, and really tired.
it is a 3 week long trip and i have 12 pax. 7 females. 5 males. i haven't had this many passengers since my other cross the country tour that was 5 weeks and the best tour i have ever had. i miss it. and them. and the other tour that was traveling with us. hmmm.... anyway.
we are traveling from new york to los angeles.
we will be going through- washington dc, nashville, memphis, new orleans, san Antonio, austin, Albuquerque, zion, grand canyon, las vegas, hmmm... what else.... oh lake powel (for a super fun cowboy night).... and my mind is going black.
i am tired tonight and it is alright past midnight.
last night i didn't go to bed until after 2am. i stayed up watching movies (the perfect island(maybe) and bruno(horrible) ) and eating pizza with another tour leader from austin. last night was his last night before he went back home. he is a really great person and i am hoping to see him again next year- he makes me laugh a lot- a lot.
either way, i woke up this morning late and was late for work.
i got all of my reservations taken care of and got everything for my trailer done. i totally hoarded everything i could from the office to save me money. meaning i grabbed all the random stuff that you don't want to spend money on, but is nice to have. like spices, ziplocs, bleach, laundry soap, containers, plastic silverware, and other random. even after all that digging around the garage, i still spent over 1.5 hours in the grocery store and still spent $249 bucks. my cart was overflowing, but i managed.
i then went back to the office finished my crap, said goodbyes, and came back to the hotel. i hung out here for a bit, went to the dollar store (which i randomly knew where it was, even though i had never been there), had all these crazy memories of the last time i was leaving jersey on a trip, got a little sad, came home, hung out with my new tour leader friend, teo, and watched mtv.
i forgot all my paperwork needed for tomorrow, so i had to grab teo's and make copies. met up with tim (our nj fleet manager) so he could give me trip notes (that i also forgot to get at the office) we watched this crazy spider on drugs video on youtube- that i was shown the other day by my other boss, and now... well.... now i am off to bed...

such a random, not making sense, definitely not reading it over post, but... deal with it.

oh and did i mention that this was the last time i will be in a bed until i hit new orleans...

2010-09-21T23:05:00.001-05:00

i feel like i am missing something or someone. i feel like there is a void. and i am not sure how to fix it.
you cannot run back into the past, but slowly walk into the future.
and remember: to live the life you love and love the life you live. and actually do it. abby.

24 hours from right now.......

2010-09-19T23:37:00.000-05:00

last night i had just arrived from seeing the space needle in seattle to the newark airport in jersey and was waiting for my bags. i got picked up form a guy named tim who is our fleet manager in the jersey office. he picked me up in an old school Volkswagen van, that was equipped with a bed and a stove and everything.
we went into new york city and arrived after many road rage slangs that included duose bag, a**hole, fukcer, and him actually telling me to get out of the van to spit on the driver in front of us. it sounds harsh, but was filled with tons of laughter.
we had a slice of pizza in greenwich along with a beer while standing and watching the people walk by. we then continued on to the rockefeller center cause we wanted to go to the top, but it was closed so we went to times square and grants tomb. we also checked out the 57th bridge along with the diner that seinfiled was filmed at.
i finally made it home after a huge plane journey and a sweet visit to new york city at around 230am.
i piled all my luggage into my room and at about 430am i went to sleep and didn't wake up again, officially, until 1230pm, so nice sleeping in! i don't think i have done that in over 6 weeks!
it was so nice, but of course i felt like i was wasting my day.
i looked out the window and it was beautiful outside, that i texted andrew (another tour leader from austin) and i went and hung out in his room with jd (ka-pow- another tour leader who has ka pow tattooed on his arms representing his last name) for a bit and eventually made it to tgfridays.
we went to tgifridays cause it is literally a 3 minutes walk from the hotel and the only place to go if you don't want to drink and drive.
i had a bloody mary and a beer and felt a little buzz so i ate 1/2 of a cheeseburger all while watching the packers, the bears, and the vikings. the bengals were on as well, but i didn't watch that tv once. for football the day was perfect, the pack won (my fav team), the bears won (my 2nd fav team), and the vikings lost (and everyone knows how cheese heads feel about the vikings).
we came back to the hotel and i briefly stopped in the boys room and then met up with my boss, katie, (who is currently staying in the hotel). i haven't seen her in awhile, so she filled me in on all the gossip, which took a couple of hours, we watched some youtube videos, and decided to call the boys and go back to tgifridays.
my grandma called on the way and told me that she couldn't believe that she finally got ahold of me and we talked about how my grandpa needs pants without zippers, but he hated wind pants and thought sweatpants were too much like pajamas and the conversation basically ended.
i had another bloody mary and then 2 tornados along with some boneless buffalo wings (i only had 3 of the 6 cause the celery that came with them tasted so much better) and came home.
so now i am here.
i took a brief break from writing this to listen to some bluegrass with andrew (the austin guy) in the courtyard of the hotel
while i was talking to andrew and everyone else tonight, i thought about my life. and how great it is. how it is so nice to come back home (meaning a hotel after a trip ) and have "friends" waiting, but how everyone comes and goes and it is all minuscule, but life. my life...
it made me think---------------------------- what do i do?

so i thought i was coming home on monday...

2010-09-16T19:37:00.002-05:00

but then i got offered another trip across the country. this one misses florida and colorado, but hits all the other great spots. 3 more weeks of fun... i think i can handle that.

yep early...

2010-09-16T10:18:00.000-05:00

i have a great hotel room on the 14th floor of the Best Western Granville in Vancouver with an amazing balcony.
Last night after my "Halloween Party" with my group that included dressing up, balloons, and trick or treating in downtown Vancouver and dinner at Yaletown Brewery followed by tini's at Brix, I decided to leave my balcony door open with the shades drawn to listen to the city as I slept. Great idea last night, but not so great idea this morning while the cloud driven sun completely lit up my room along with the noise of the "city"-traffic, garbage trucks, ambulances, cop cars, people screaming, etc. Normally I don't think it would bother me so much, but seeing I spent the last 3+ months camping and the last 9 nights in the Canadian Rockies, it woke me.
But that is ok cause today I come back to the STATES!!! goodbye CANADA!!!

my conversation with steven tyler

2010-09-16T02:15:00.000-05:00

"can i have a picture with you please"
"i just love you"

"you are so cute"
"you are just so cute"
a little face squeeze
"i just can't stop shaking"
"oh you are just so cute"
"i love you"
"isn't she just the cutest thing"

and btw- only 3 of those lines i said...

CANADA ey

2010-09-13T01:00:00.000-05:00

yep- i'm in canada and have been hearing a lot of ey's. it is great.
today i am in jasper, yesterday i was in banff.
today i hiked up athabasca glacier, yep that's right- a glacier! and yesterday i rode in a helicopter over the canadian rockies, that's right i said a helicopter!
today i ate at jasper brewing company and yesterday i ate a wild bill's (i had a filet- yummy).
today i am in bed by midnight after playing catch phrase and losing horribly and yesterday i was still up at 4:30 am from the night before.
so i have to say the past two days have been pretty frickin awesome- ey?

a quick view of my day

2010-08-27T02:39:00.000-05:00

so i have internet at this campsite and i am not deathly tired so i am taking advantage of it.
today was amazing.
i woke up around 7am to take a quick drive into cannon beach where haystack rock is located.
a couple of my girls went with me to see the famous rock up close. it was low tide at this point of the day and we were able to walk right up to it. usually it is sunk about 200 feet into the ocean, but this morning the starfish that cling to it desperately were in a finger reach away. we learned from the volunteer that works for HARP that we are able to touch them and not hurt them so we did. they felt like a rock, but i still screamed a bit. it was amazing. it was one of those mornings that i love my job, but am sad i didn't get to experience it with someone close to me.
we then trotted along to pigs'n pancakes and had me some pigs in a blanket. yum yum.
unfortunate for me, i was so tired, i came back to camp and literally slept in the van for over 4 hours. the sun was blazing at one point so i opened up the door and hung my feet out while i slept so i could get some sort of a tan. ha.
later in the afternoon we all gathered together to make our way over to seaside, a little town just north of cannon beach. it was a blast. i rode the carousal, tried some beach comber ice dream, showed my few moves on DDR (dance dance revolution), spin like crazy on bumper cars, sneakily ate some pizza, and some taffy as well.
we came back to camp to chill, make some divine burritos, and light up camp for the night.
our campfire went off with a little of a smokey hitch, but we managed to keep it up for hours.
our campsite neighbor came over to sing us some songs on the guitar and play "would you rather". we pulled our "edward" from the front seat of the van and he chilled all night with us by the fire. i drank some oregon brewed beer, laughed my ass off at our 16 year old guitar playing neighbor- who sang us a song about his phone falling into the porter potty next to us and called it a night.
so make to make my long day condensed into a few paragraphs- it was good. tomorrow off to sliver falls state park. oh- and the tillamock cheese factory. haha.

my life; today.....

2010-08-26T01:38:00.000-05:00

cannon beach oregon. that is where i am currently residing for the next few days.
it is absolutely beautiful here. today we hiked through escola state park to indian beach. it was absolutely beautiful. the trees surrounded me like i was being attacked and the beach sparkled like it was a vampire. the air was extremely hot, but the ocean was icy cold and refreshing. the surfers were amateurs, but very entertaining to watch along with the sun bathers on the beach. even though it was meant to be a quick trip, we took hours. it was nice to take off my hiking shoes and draw in the sand with my feet. the clouds were swiftly moving across the ocean in a way that it seem like they were on fire.
dinner at camp was excellent, i ate way too much. sometimes i am surprised how good my pax can cook on a camping stove with limited resources and minimal help. either way, i am stuffed. and oregon brewed beer, which was chosen cause there was a picture of a dog on it, was way better than i expected. it helped that i instructed 4 girls on how to make a fire when im not even that great at it, but it burned for over 3 hours. as did our conversation which ranged from harry potter world at universal to borat to ghosts to would you rather (that one was actually quite funny, it involved drinking donkey.... and a vo-omelete.
either way, good night.
yet, sometimes i wonder what i am missing out on. being here. doing this.
and sometimes i wonder if it is all worth it?

2010-07-27T19:20:00.002-05:00

i think all i have to currently say is "WOW" and "seriously" and maybe "grow up"

Nerlans....

2010-07-24T02:56:00.000-05:00

So I found my new favorite city to come and hang out in. I came across it yesterday.

Da Big Easy. New Orleans, Louisiana. :)

I am here on my 35 day trek that goes from New York all the way to LA. We are 2 weeks into it and so far it has been amazing. We spent a couple days in Washington DC, along with a few in N. Carolina and S. Carolina. And was in Florida for about a week- St. Augustine, Miami, the Keys, Orlando, and Panama City Beach.

And now.

NO.

We are staying about 3 blocks away from Bourbon Street. And there is a total of 26 of us. My group of 12 is staying in a huge house with 5 bedrooms along with a big party bedroom (meaning a room that has 8 beds in it). I am staying behind the house in my own private sweet that I am kindly sharing with Tommy.

Last night, Tommy and I made jambalaya for everyone by bringing our stove and propane tanks into the Suite. It was delicious. After dinner we all got dressed up and we did a walking tour of the city- all 26 of us. We were easily identifiable cause we were all covered in glow sticks and beads (thanks to the dollar store and me being always prepared with those particular items).

We ended up on Bourbon Street around 10pm and Tommy and I tipped the bouncer at Fat Catz $40 bones so we could all get in (there are a few under-agers on our trip) and it totally worked. And it was a blast.

I started the night off with a huge ass beer that I drank as quickly as possible so I could dance my ass off. Which is basically what I did until about 4am.

We were at Fat Catz for awhile and all 26 off us were on the dance floor for a good portion of the night. It was during this time when I darted off for a break with a few ladies and after wheeling and dealing we came back with these amazing feather masks. I then grabbed some of the other girls in my group and wheeled and dealed them some masks as well. That wonderful rainbow mask did not come off my face for the rest of the night. In fact, I woke up with it on my bed so I might of fell asleep in it as well. ha.

The night was slowly coming to an end at Fat Catz so Tommy and I continued it for another couple of hours. If I could remember I would let you know exactly where we went next, but I have no idea.

We stayed on Bourbon Street the entire time. The first club we went to, Tommy and I got up on the stage and danced until we got tired of people watching us. We then had a guy sing to us on the street. He had an amazing voice, but the only song I remember him singing was "Sittin on the dock of the bay" by Otis Redding cause that is the song I requested :) I gave him 5 bucks- totally worth it.

Tommy and our Singer
We then headed to the Dungeon which is a bar that is kinda like the Safe House in Milwaukee. The coolest past was dancing in this little room that had mirrors on both walls. Oh and they also had a bookshelf bathroom (meaning a hallway that looked like a big house bookshelf with hidden bathrooms).

We then walked by a strip club and it was free to get in, so we thought why not. When we got in there we realized it was free seeing all we were seeing was moms stripping for their kids dinner, but it was still interesting. There were hardly anyone in there so in between songs and strippers I got up on the stage and continued my theme of the night and danced and just so we are clear, my clothes stayed on, I didn't touch the pole, and nor did I make any money. ha, but I wasn't up there for long cause we totally got kicked out for that. And also just so we are clear- I still did have my mask on the entire time we were in there.

We finished the night off in this crazy club and came home cause I was entirely way too tired.

We fell asleep around 5am and I didn't wake up until 1130am.

But my day wasn't wasted, we walked down tot the french quarter and walked through the markets, had some beignets at Cafe Demount, people watched through the pedestrian mall and came back to take a nap.

I woke up and we all walked down to Bourbon Street to listen to jazz at Fitzgeralds (the oldest jazz club in NO). Meet up with a couple of my trek friends that are also randomly traveling through NO with their groups as well, had a po-boy sandwich, bought some voodoo dolls (so you crazies better watch your mouths-ha) and came back to my wonderful suite (that still smells like the jambalaya that we made last night) and watched Scar face.

So... based on my very detailed, but very vague description, wouldn't you say that you had a new favorite city as well?

happy 4th of july

2010-07-04T19:12:00.001-05:00

im only in wisconsin for a total of 2 days this summer. i left at the end of may and won't be back til probably october, that is... if i come back at all. i have been completely away every summer for the past 2 years, this one being the third. not only do i miss my family, my friends, my coworkers, my aquintances, but i also miss the little things.

my parents pool is one of the little things that i miss. i love being able to walk around in my bathing suit all day and not give a damn. waking up, putting it on, and not taking it off til i go to bed. i love cannon balls. i love the struggle of trying not to get pushed into the pool. i love jumping in and realizing i left my towel in the house. i love using it as my shower for the day. i love drinking in it. i love floating around in the tube while reading a book. i love playing games in it. i love making wave pools in it.

i just love this pool.

i love all the good memories i have in it.

and i never want them to give up on it.

my old blog header... no more...

2010-07-04T18:50:00.001-05:00

I have a heart and I appreciate every single person out there. Flowers are beautiful and nature is an amazing backdrop to the life we all live everyday. Appreciate those around you.

one of my best friends asked me if i was lonely

2010-07-04T18:40:00.000-05:00

i have never used that word before to describe me, so i didn't know how to answer, but it has been making me think lately...

2010-06-26T10:25:00.000-05:00

back in LA. i will tell you about my last few weeks later. i promise. right now, i gotta go to the office. i kinda don't mind actually seeing i haven't been there in weeks. and that also means i get my mail!!!

so, if anyone wants to send me love over here in the west coast send it to:
Abby H.
P.O. Box 1338
Gardena, CA 90217

yep, that's right, i live at the post office. and i love mail!

i don't normally do that

2010-06-19T01:22:00.001-05:00

a lot of minutes to go a little distance

2010-06-02T01:53:00.001-05:00

this morning i woke up extremely early seeing that i went to bed around 1030pm- the earliest i have been to bed since.... like forever. ha. i was so tired i feel asleep in my swimming suit aka swimming costume (ha) while watching the 2nd half of The Hangover. i woke up around 1:30am to take out my contacts and put some pjs on.

7:30am my alarm went off again and we decided to get breakfast across the street at ralphs. we each got some fruit and a bagel. i bought some organic sweet peach tea and we decided to split a sandwich platter with 14 different sandwiches on croissants for less than 11 bucks. it was a steal, we couldn't go wrong.

as we were leaving the parking lot, i knew we had a problem.

we were each driving our 19 foot 15 passenger brand new ford 650 white vans.

and the 4 lane road was absolutely packed. packed. and this was before we even made it on to the highway.

we left at 8:41am and didn't arrive to the office until 9:22am.

the office is 6.5 miles away.

the funny thing is that i was so worried about being late, seeing it was the my first day back that i was actually going to see my boss, i like ran into the building and into his office and the first thing he said to me was "why are you here?"

ha- he forgot that i was participating in the volunteer event and thought i was arriving on thursday.

so i was late and worried and i had absolutely no reason to be.

silly me.

so i'm here.

2010-05-31T18:30:00.000-05:00

alright you'll- i'm back in LA.
i arrived last night after a 4 hour flight next to a little tiny dog- yep that is right, a dog was my neighbor on the plane. she (i know it was a she because she had a bright pink carryon) was accompanied by a lady that for just about the whole flight, held a mini teeny fan up to the pooch so it was stay cool- that is right, 4 hours of a little mini teeny fan noise as well as a little weeny pup noise. oh and did i mention i was in the last row right next to the bathrooms... if i didn't, i was and that was and it was fantastic. ha.
i then got all my luggage, 2 checked in bags that were about 43 pounds each, as well as a carry on that probably weighed about that. as i was waiting for the shuttle to my hotel, i was asked, by a very handsome man- mind you, if i needed some company tonight? ha- i told him no, but i did tell him that he was very cute. so at least he got something out of it. then my shuttle bus driver called me mi amor, which means my love in spanish and then.... the lady at ralphs (the grocery store across my hotel) called me a sweet thang with a beautiful smile :)
so even though I was still kinda hungover from the brewer game earlier, LA totally brightened my day.
and i am pumped to be here.

2010-05-30T20:13:00.000-05:00

Alright so I'm on my flight to la- just about to leave I'm in the very
last row with a lady sitting next to me- came in at the very en
oxourse- so I thought I was lucky enough to have a row by myself. She
came at me with a little flourescent fan- like the hand held ones
going full blast. And I thought that was my problem until I realized
the little fan wasn't for her bit her little dog. I secretly groomed
when I ha to get up to let her in and as she and I sat down- she turns
and says to me- she is totally pissed at me- and I say back to her- I
would be too. Ha. She then begins to pour a little cup of water for
her littlefriend while holding the fan at the same time.
Wow- what a great flight this I going to be- plus I it's possible to
be hingover without sleeping yet- that is me- o feel crappy and
well..... Hungover.

But I don't know of anyone else had fun at he brewer game bit I sure
did :)

Sent from my iPod

Tourism Cares... I CARE

2010-05-27T23:36:00.001-05:00

I am leaving for LA on Sunday night after the Brewer Game.
After I get to LA and before I leave for my first trip of the summer, I will be in San Francisco for a couple days.
I will be participating in a volunteer project called Tourism Cares.
http://www.tourismcares.org/ (check out the website)
We will be working on preserving Angel Island State Park in San Fransisco Bay.
http://www.tourismcares.org/tourism-cares-for-america/tourism-cares-for-san-francisco-bay-2010

http://www.angelisland.com/

Over the past 6-7 years, more than 2,000 volunteers have donated more than 20,000 hours. I will be one of those volunteers this year participating on the Trek America Team.

I have had many conversations the past few days about the oil spill and what it is doing to our world and how it is going to affect our future and the future of the generations behind us. We get one shot at this beaufitul place we call EARTH. Please take care of it. Please show it some love. We might not have the authority or the power to stop something that has been destroying our oceans, beaches, wildlife, people's lives, etc. for over 5 weeks now, but we do have the power to do all we can to reduce our carbon mark and make sure this place is as beautiful for my "future" children as it is for me. Every little bit helps.

typical conversation

2010-05-27T00:58:00.001-05:00

he is ONE of my BEST friends in the whole wide world.
he lives in connecticut, i live in wisconsin.
we met while working in florida at walt disney world in 2007.
i have seen him 6 times since: orlando x3, chicago x2, new haven (CT) x1.
and feel lucky every time i see him.
we are still best friends because we can talk on the phone for 2 hours a night, every night for months or talk as little as 2 minutes once a week for months.
i had one of those 2+ hours conversations the other night with him.

here is a list of some of the things we talked about and this list does not include the normal things you talk to your friends with like: life, love, happiness, sadness, work, friends, vacations, the future, etc. this list is just the interesting stuff written in a very broad manner (details not included):

pyramids of giza

the pyramids of china

the pyramids of bolivia and south america

aliens

persians

maps of the world

the pangaea theory

wonders of the world

easter island

stone henge

aliens

croatia

plitvice national park

divine intervention

god

protection

government "protection"

marco polo

glacier national park

oil spill

bp's mistake, bp gets paid to fix

government control

the world

drug companies

lyme disease

government control

plum island and animal testing

man made diseases

oak island and treasure

booby traps

arc of the covenant

radiation

living 40 years in the desert

40 days 40 nights

god

government control

aliens

and this is what i can remember.
then a phone died.
so while still reading about oak island and the mystery treasures that could be from captain kidd or blackbeard (pirates) but are so well protected in the earth that even with all the technology today we still can't reach them... we continued the conversation on skype (the online chat not the video) for about 25 more minutes until i zonked out.
this was 2/3 days ago... so if you can imagine the conversation hit deeper points than this, but this is what i remember.
any questions or ideas about any of these subjects, please feel free to ask or discuss with me...

is it funny?

2010-05-22T00:40:00.001-05:00

it is funny.

well i am not sure funny is the right word, but it is the first one that popped in my head.

it is funny that i am 28 years old.

it is funny that i am 28 years old and single.

it is funny that i live at home with my mom.

it is funny that i live at home with my mom and she sometimes still cleans my room.

it is funny that i waitress.

it is funny that i waitress and have a college degree.

it is funny that i still wear clothes that i got in high school.

it is funny that i still wear clothes that i got in high school, over 10 years ago.

it is funny that i eat healthy all day and binge on cookies and milk at night.

it is funny that i eat healthy all day and seriously binge on cookies and milk at night.

it is funny that i never hang out with my best friends.

it is funny that i never hang out with my best friends cause they all live states/countries away.

it is funny that i sleep every chance i get.

it is funny that i sleep every chance i get cause i don't know when i will be able to sleep again.

it is funny that i suck at snowboarding.

it is funny that i suck at snowboarding and go at least 3 times a week.

it is funny that i have really pale skin.

it is funny that i have really pale skin and use tanning lotion almost everyday.

it is funny that i own about 50 pairs of shoes.

it is funny that i own about 50 pairs of shoes and wear the same 3 pair daily.

(this is something i wrote on january 24th at 10:23 pm and saved as a draft, but wanted to share with you now)

Lin Yu Chun (林育群) - Taiwan's Singing Sensation！The Ellen DeGeneres Show...

2010-05-16T23:23:00.000-05:00

if you don't know, i am such a sucker for stuff like this.

not only is he a good singer, but he makes a strong point as well.

i definitely got a little teary eyed......

good for him.

i had to set everything else to private, is this next?

2010-05-14T10:44:00.000-05:00

i am thinking about making my blog private.
i really don't want to do this, seeing the point of a blog is for anyone and everyone to read it, if wanted of course.
but i have had a couple of "stalkers" lately on my blog.
i have been getting some nasty and completely inappropriate messages lately.
does anyone else have this problem?
is there a better way to fix it then make my blog private?
cause if i set it to private, i literally will be just writing for 3 people.
and i love you 3, i really do, but come on.
i'm stuck.

my first pics of my trip

2010-05-13T11:49:00.000-05:00

i just spent time, actually almost a whole day, downloading my 11 memory cards from my trip. i closed my eyes and randomly chose one. this is the one i got.

i am in dahab, egypt. it is my last full day there and we are all hanging out at yalla bar. our bar of choice on the "strip". i am literally floating in the red sea right now because the salt is so dense. and if you look to the left, that is saudi arabia- crazy.

if you turn the camera around, this is what i am looking at from the sea's point of view.

it is about 1-2pm and the music is blaring and the drinks have been poured. did someone say a bottle of egyptain rum is only 50 egyptians pounds?!?!? which is like $10 USD. we'll take it. and we WILL enjoy my last day in egypt.

this isn't important enough to read... trust me...

2010-05-13T00:10:00.000-05:00

alright, i really have a headache, but some reason, even though i am extremely tired, i am going to half ass this blog i want to write. not that i don't do that on every blog, but this one especially.

first off, i do not know why i am so tired. i had the past two days off and literally did absolutely nothing. the only time i left my house was to go see iron man 2 with my friend, stephen on monday, but that was about it. (oh and by the way, good movie, i haven't even seen the first one and i liked this one, so if yo have seen the first one, i think you would really like this one, plus i love robert downey jr ).

anyway, so i didn't leave the house at all. omg. i totally lied. on monday, i took my dad to the hospital to get his ankle looked at (he broke it about 1.5 weeks ago by slamming into a tree at 45 mph (i am still thanking god he is alive)) and then took him to see my grandparents. then i came home and then i went to the movies with stephen and then on tuesday... i did absolutely nothing. ok. got it straight now.

so why am i tired. hmmm.... today i drove my friend to the bus station so she could go to miami (so unfair- i have never even been to miami) i then stopped at whole foods and spend $40 on "natural and organic" foods, that aren't even really natural or organic, i then went back to my friends house to workout (she wasn't there, but her treadmill was), i then drove to work, but was early so finished the rest of my book (the alchemist) (super good- maybe i will write about it sometime, but if i don't, totally check it out, seriously) and then went to work. i am now at home and ready for bed, but want to write this blog.....

..... but now actually, after just that, i am going to go to bed. i am not even going to write the blog i wanted to write.

so maybe later... night.

red headed sluts

2010-05-05T22:27:00.003-05:00

i don't really like to drink anymore.

and i don't necessarily mean beers, cocktails, vino, shots....

i mean everything in general.

water, juice, sometimes soda... pop.

it seems like such a chore.

i wonder if that is because i used all my drinking juice up already.

i only say that cause i used to drink.

a lot.

and i used to love it.

now... not so much.

i wonder if it will ever replenish itself enough for me to at least enjoy drinking something... anything... even water...

and if not, at least replenish it enough for me to crave beers, cocktails, vino, shots, margaritas, and bombs...

again... haha...

i like my bubbly

2010-05-05T14:37:00.003-05:00

so... i have a major problem with water glasses. i think i have mentioned it before, but at any given time, like right now, this second, i have 5 water glasses in my room. 3 are on my nightstand and 2 have been moved from my nightstand to my tv stand, simply cause there is just no more room on my nightstand. they are all either half full of water or water mixed with a splash of juice (to give it SOME flavor). unfortunately that splash of juice sometimes causes mold to grow in the glass when they sit long enough. yuck.

ok- so i hate washing dishes. i don't know why, i think it is because we have a dishwasher in my house (again, i live at home with my mom) and we don't use it. sounds stupid right? how nice is it to just pile your dishes in and when it is full or you run out of dishes, you put a little soap filled ball in a little container and let it do its thing. but no, not in this house, we have a different type of dishwasher. and SHE is called mom.

and i love this dishwasher even more.

so when i say i hate washing dishes, it doesn't mean that i won't do it, it means that i won't do it that second. again, like the dishwasher, i like dishes to pile up a bit to avoid making my hands feel like dry pruney wrinkly blah. and either, fortunately or unfortunately, how ever you want to think about, my mom doesn't.

so she washes the dishes. almost all of the time.

my point and the reason why i explain this.

today after riding my old school beach bike, i was so thirsty, i couldn't wait for something to drink. my mind was set on water with a splash of passion fruit juice. all of which we currently have in the fridge (thanks to my mom, again).

i took a glass out of the dish drainer next to our sink and held it under our water dispenser in our fridge and out came bubbly water. and by bubbly, i mean water that has been mixed with soap. dish soap. possibly from when my mom washed the glass and didn't rinse it out properly. it didn't phase me cause this is a regular day occurrence in my house so i drank it all in basically one gulp.

so the question is: how much liquid dish soap are you allowed to digest before it becomes too much?

this is my mom and i. we are in our kitchen. this was taken almost one year ago to the day. sucks- i think i looked better then than i do now. haha.

this is good. Man Gaga?!?!?

2010-05-01T12:37:00.001-05:00

Telephone Remake @ Yahoo! Video

just give it a little push

2010-04-30T15:27:00.003-05:00

today i emptied out my pack and considering it contained 5 weeks of my life, ended up being easier than i thought.
trying to keep my room as clean as possible, i walked it down from my room on the 2nd floor to the basement, where we have a family camping closet.
the closet is like a death trap. it is packed like sardines in a can, an overcrowded can. sometimes you are able to open it and throw your pack, tent, sleeping pad, etc on top and close it without fail. other times, you open it and just like a cartoon. things are falling from every direction and toppling all over you.
today, it was about half and half. i was prepared. i opened the closet with my pack in hand and immediately pushed my body against the goods that were desparately trying to escape. every part of my body was used. my torso, my legs, my knees, my feet, my arms, my hands, and even my head. i pushed the pack in and took a step back to slam the door shut. except i wasn't quick enough. a tent fell, a sleeping pad fell, and some other thing that smelled like camp fire fell. but instead of risking it by picking them up and putting them in properly, i turned around and put my butt up against the door and pushed as hard as i could until i clicked shut. to me, this was a success.
good luck to whoever opens it next.... hahaha.

this video has absolutely nothing to do with my closet, but it a good closet video. i like a lot.

the difference of $250 here in america and there in egypt

2010-04-29T17:38:00.004-05:00

as we all know, i am home.

i am going to tell you a few stories here.

my travel day from london back home. april 27.

i woke up to jen's alarm going off at 545am. i reached across her king sized bed which is 2 twin beds that are pushed together and slammed my finger on her phone to hit snooze. i knew i had to get up cause we only went to bed 4 hours earlier, so 5 more minutes is exactly what i needed. minutes later it went off again and this time i jumped out of bed to get in the shower. it was already 6 and i knew we had to leave at 630 so i could make it to my flight at heathrow at 10. i took a shower in jens bathtub. literally that is what it is, a bathtub, a wall, and a shower head that is attached to a hose. it is a challenge to take a shower without getting water all over everywhere, but i think today... i did pretty well, seeing it was my 6th "shower" there. i felt really incredible sick, actually nauseous, but i thought it was because i had a couple of beers yesterday with ajit and jen. yep, that is right a couple of beers at my age sometimes causes a hangover... sad i know. ha.

i shoved the rest of my stuff in my backpack while jen got ready to go to work. she teaches 7 year olds. i was dying of thirst and drank all of the water glasses of mine that had collected in her room from the past few days. she helped me put on my pack and i went down to her kitchen, opened her fridge as it was my own and got out some orange juice. i noticed that there were two plates wrapped in saran wrap that had salad, ham, and sliced boiled eggs portioned perfectly on them. i looked at jen and giggled, telling her that plating up their food like that is weird. jen giggled and told me that her mom made them for us last night in case we didn't have dinner. my heart opened and i felt sad for a moment that jen and i ate with ajit at a pub and not with her parents. her parents are amazing and i absolutely love them, but that is another whole different story.

still feeling sick, we walked out of the wardens house (her mom is the warden of an old peoples home) across the parking lot that was sprinkled with white petals from the blossoms above. the bus stop is 2 blocks away and as we arrived the bus did as well. perfect timing. jen had to pay the 2 pounds for me to get on cause i only had 1.53 pounds to my name at this point. i didn't want jen to have to fund me, so i gave her $5 US dollars, 1.5 Egyptian pounds, and of course my 1.53 pounds- it is all that i had left.

jen and i sat on the bus , not reflecting on the fact that i was leaving and probably not going to see her again for months or years or possibly ever again, but instead we were chatting about normal everyday stuff that best friends do and now looking back on it, it is that which makes me sad. i was still feeling very ill, so i definitely wasn't my normal self, plus i was extremely tired, as i have been for the past few days.

we had to transfer off one red double decker bus to another and soon we were directly where i needed to be at heathrow, terminal one. we both got off, i had my big pack on, jen was carrying my day pack and we headed to the united desk. first, we went to the desk and realized that we had to do ourselves so we headed back to the kiosks. at this point, i was feeling very very ill. and basically letting jen handle everything. i didn't care what seat i got, especially when i realized that my flight was at 1220 instead of 10. it was 730. jen made the remark that i could of slept in longer while she went to work. i cracked a little smile, but i started feeling very nauseated. we hugged and even though it was a very memorable moment for me, all i could think about was puking.

i left her, walked 1/2 through security, walked back out and sat on the toilet for a min. i then, walked through security with no problems, i actually kinda sashayed through it and walked right to the bathroom. i closed the door. and up came the orange juice. and up came the cups and cups of water. and then up came blood. and more blood. and more blood. so i laid there on the bathroom floor at the heathrow airport for about 45 minutes. the bathrooms in britain are different. they call them toilets and the door goes all the way to the floor, so no one can see in and in this situation, it was exactly what i needed. i then, slept, drooled, slept some more, walked around pretending to listen to my ipod, did some souvenir shopping, bought a sandwich with tomatoes, pesto, and mozzarella, and then got on the plane.

the reason why i tell you this story is because it has to do with why i had to spend $250 here, today, at a walk in clinic, with a doctors visit that lasted less than 10 mins because i couldn't take the pain any longer. literally that is what it was. 10 mins of me telling some of the story i just told you along with telling him that i had some ear pain. and that cost me $250.

but seeing this story took so long... i won't bore you with the story of how i spent the $250 in egypt... i'll do that later... cause it is a good one.

it has to do with 2 different buses, 2 ferry rides, a horse ride, a camel ride, a hike, 2 argentinians, 1 french woman, and a lunch at a 5 star restaurant.

2010-04-28T04:39:00.002-05:00

alright, so i am back.....

it is 430am, but i am currently wide awake, even though i was up for like 22 hours straight yesterday (and having only 4 hours of sleep the night before), but the time change hasn't really set in for me yet, so it is like 1130am right now in the UK, so i am up and ready to eat lunch actually.

haha.

yum.....

a pasty......

so i am back.

and

LUXOR

2010-04-19T08:20:00.002-05:00

alright as most of you know, i am traveling at the moment. currently i am in luxor egypt. and even more currently to my location, i am in the new everest hostel located semi near the train station.
i have had an amazingly hot day here, temperatures averaging around 95 degrees F and the sun is is just boiling. now that i am thinking of it i would actually pay 10 USD for a slushie. yummy. instead when i am done with this, i will go to the little shop around the corner, and by little i mean smaller than my old closet at home, and buy some drink. a big bottle of water 2.5 egyptian pounds. which eguals like .50 cents. the lady that owns it doesn't speak a lick of english, but we have formed a friendship after the 3 days i have been here. i have spent a total of maybe..... 15-20 egyptain pounds at her shop, which equals like 4 USD and she absolutely loves me. so.... no slushie is my point.
i have had my first major travel upset this afternoon. everything has been working out really great until today. i woke up and went to see the valley of the kings, the valley of the queens, and the temple of hotchickensoup (hatshepsut). it is absolutely crazy how well these tombs are perserved. i will go more in to that when i talk about me trip later on.

and right now, i don't even feel like typing anymore, i am actaully way too hot, if you can imagine. sweat is pouring down my leg pits.... ew... hahaha....
anyway, quickly, i was told that there was no way that my bus to dahab tonight would sell out. but sure enough, i went there after my journey today, and sold out. next bus to dahab tomorrow night, which i cannot do cause i am on my way to petra the next morning.... blah blah blah, either way, i am kinda screwed and now have to do transfers.... which could be easy and fine and will only add another 6 hours on local bus, no biggie, but i have to get off and buy another ticket at another local bus stop and hope for the best. and for those of you who do not know, egyptian speak arabic...... and i do not.... and egyptian men love white woman.... which i am......
so lets just say that this will be interesting.... and if you meet me on the street in the next 2 days, i am married. i have a fake ring on and everything to get the men off my back, even though it doesn't really work at all. my husabdn is a big man that works with computers. i say that cause most of them know what i mean when i say computers. haha.

real fast, yesterday i rode a horse drawn carriage with an american guy i met at the mummification musuem and i told our driver that he was my husband. i think i caught him off guard, but it was funny. then our driver wanted to take a pciture of us kissing on the carriage.... and to tell you the truth i don't even think i knew his name at this point....

(p.s. the spelling is bad cause this keybopard is weird (i am in egypt :) ) and there is no spell check.... icannot live without spell check :) ) and i am trying to get this done asap.... as you already know i am boiling and now i am goingto visit my egyptian friend and her little store ( for the 3rd time today). she doesn't know enough english to even think about ripping me off :)

so ive been here 2 weeks now.... only 3 to go...

2010-04-06T07:44:00.002-05:00

so here is the break down quickly.
london. exeter. london. brussels. antwerp. brugges. brussels. amsterdam. exeter. weymouth. and now back to london for 2 days. and then egypt for 2 weeks with simon.
i have seen many many beautiful things and beautiful people.
i have stepped into other cultures and other peoples lives.
i have seen old friends and made new ones.

but yes im still running

2010-03-21T01:27:00.002-05:00

i have climbed highest mountains

i have run through the fields

i have run

i have crawled

i have scaled

but i still haven't found what i am looking for

i have kissed

felt the healing

and burn like fire

this burning desire

i have spoke with a tongue of angles.

i have held the hand of a devil

it was warm as night

i was cold as stone

but i still haven't found what i am looking for.

but i still haven't found what im looking for

i believe in the Kingdom Come

all the colors will bleed to one

but yes im still running

broke the bonds

loosed the chains

you know i believe it

but i still haven't found what i am looking for

someone posted this video as one of my comments.

i put it into perspective of my life and how its been dancing.

REMIX!

2010-03-20T11:58:00.001-05:00

This is going out to everyone-
one day.....

just dance

2010-03-20T01:04:00.005-05:00

wgt us everttgubg tajubg si kibg

why is everything taking so long?

why can't it just be easier

why do i have to be scared

my life is a blur.....

every second of everyday of every week of every month of every year.

just like is sounds.....

why can't it just be easier

why can't i find what i am looking for?

i hate that in my heart is romance

and i crave that feeling for the rest of my life

i am scared it is not out there

or what if i never find it....

i have to relax

just chill

enjoy every moment of everyday

every moment

don't get caught up in focusing on something that is not there yet

sometimes i just really like vacation

cause that is my life

at that exact moment in time

and that can never be taken away from me

now my goal is to think of every moment like that

cause every moment that i dance through is a moment in my life

it is who i am

right now at this exact moment

that is it..

i have to dance my way through life

that is the best way i now how

dance.

dance dancing

dancing my way through life

my new motto......

and i don't care if people are laughing

and i don't care if people are staring

and i don't care if people are judging

and i don't care if people criticizing

but i do care if i am smiling

and dancing makes me smile

im gonna dance my way through life

2010-03-18T23:09:00.004-05:00

its time to analyze my life.

who i am.

what i am.

ive been stuck in this rut that was making me focus on something that isn't necessarily there.
don't ask me what it is cause i have no idea what has been capturing my mind these past few months.

i don't know if it was
money
intimidation
worthlessness
selfishness
nervousness

and as i am tying to think of these words all that they are routing back to the idea of being scared.

what if i don't know who i am
what if i don't know what i am

what if i have no idea who i want to be

what if i am super scared that i choose the wrong path

what if i am super scared that something will pass be by and i missed it

what if i don't end up how i thought i would

what if i don't end up who i thought i would be

what if i don't end up doing what i thought i would be doing

what if.....

i am scared that i am really going to miss something
if i don't go everywhere, meet everyone, see everything

i really think i am

i am scared to stay in
one spot and fail

one thing and fail

one person and fail

but i feel like the more things i try
the more things i do
the more people i meet

i am bound to find what i am looking for

it is inevitable

it is my future

it is my life

it is inevitable

things are going to happen to me whether i
stay in one spot
stick with one thing
focus on one person

or if i keep moving around
trying out different things
and focusing on different people

it is inevitable

it is my future

it is my life

it is me

it is who i am

it is what i am

right now.

this is me.

My name is Abigail Frances

Most people call me Abby

Some people call me Crabby

Or Crabigail

Or Flabigail

Or Abilicious

Or Absasteel

Or Abs

Or Franny

Or .......

It doesn't really matter what people call me

I am who I am.

and "when I do bad, I feel bad. When I do good, I feel good. That is my religion" - Abraham Lincoln

these both made me feel better. haha.

2010-03-18T01:07:00.001-05:00

happy st. patricks day :)

2010-03-18T00:01:00.003-05:00

so... i have just gotten home from a random quick trip to disney world. it was less than 3 days. the first day was spent at the airport/airplanes for almost exactly 13 hours, the next day was spent working 13 hours straight in epcot while wearing a space suit asking people if they want more intense or less intense and if they were ready to launch. and the last day was spent traveling from the hotel to epcot to magic kingdom to epcot back to the hotel to go to the airport to spend another 4 hours in before getting on my flight back home.

but... that is not what i want to write about.

today is st. patricks day. and i want to write about that.

i want to write about how every st. patricks day since i can remember has been a drunken haze. whether it started at 6am, which for many years it did, or whether is started at 10pm, which again many years it did or was a continuation of all day drunken fun....

for the life of me right now i cannot remember what i did last year on st. patricks day. i don't remember who i was with, what i was doing, or where i even was. i am guessing i was in milwaukee, but have absolutely no idea.

the year before that, i remember exactly. well, i remember where i was and who i was with. remember what i did, now that even gets a little fuzzy. green fuzz to be exact.

and the year before that i was in orlando. and i remember that one exactly. and by exactly i mean i remember the beginning of it more than the end. started off going out with makayla to downtown disney and to epcot to get green beer in, then i went to work, then celebrated at bennigens, and then party at my apartment. a crazy party at my apartment. so crazy i could barely move the next day and called in sick to work and went to the beach with dennis and greg. omg. i was so hungover that day.... well that is a whole different story.

ok... my point is... that this is the first year in years that i have not drank on st. patricks day. and i am feeling very uneasy about it. it is not like i did not have the opportunity to drink cause i did. i was in mexico, england, china, and norway today, but couldn't bring myself to enjoy a beer or a rita or anything. which again is strange cause 3 years ago today i was in the exact same location and have a totally different story to tell.

i still wore my green shirt that says "kiss me im irish" on it, even though i am not. i still wore my button that says "happy st. paddy's day" on it. i even wore a green pashmina scarf today to top off my outfit.

i thought about drinking today. i thought about it a lot. i came all the way back to epcot to try to repeat my amazing st. patricks day i had 3 years ago. but i just couldn't do it.

i don't know if it is because i am still pretty sick, meaning i still sound like have a frog in my throat.

i don't know if it is because i was by myself for most of the day, most of my friends were all working and i didn't really up to being social.

i don't know if it is because the weather was super gloomy.

i don't know if it is because i wasn't in milwaukee, celebrating with some of my true friends.

i don't know if it is because when i finally went to get a margarita i found out they were $9 and that seemed way too crazy.

i don't know if it is because i am getting old.

i don't know if it is because i don't know how to have fun anymore.

i don't know if it is because......

.... all i know that this is something new to me and i don't know if i should be happy about it or sad.

cause right now, i am sad.

i feel old. i feel sick. i feel tired. i feel worn-out. i feel overwhelmed.

2010-03-13T10:55:00.002-06:00

just in case you die today, i love you with all my heart and you are not alone.

my message to my Aunt about my trip......

2010-03-11T12:54:00.001-06:00

hi :) I am leaving on the 23rd and flying to london. I am going to meet up with a friend I met while traveling in Asia for a few days and then go to SW England and meet up with someone I met in Florida. I am traveling with him (this is the guy I always refer to as my British Boyfriend- not that he is, but thats how I used to refer to him as so you might remember him that way) to Belgium, where I will meet up with another friend that I met while working this summer, he was one of my passengers with TrekAmerica and from there we will go to Holland. I then fly back to England to met with some other girls I met this summer and then I will fly to Egypt to meet up with Simon (the guy I traveled to Asia with last year). We will spend about 2 weeks over there and then come back to England where I will meet up with another person I meet while I was living in Florida (he worked at Disney World with me) and then thats it. I think Simon might fly back with me (April 27th) cause he has to go back to Colorado (that's where I met him, while I was working at that zipline course) in the beginning of May. If he does, maybe you can meet him. That would be really cool.
So yeah, basically by myself the whole time, but constantly with people I know. Pretty exciting huh?

2010-03-08T22:29:00.001-06:00

Why can't we have normal tv? Cause we don't do anything normal?When I was a kid I used to dream about living on a horse farm- that's a nice dream... For a horse

2010-03-08T17:25:00.001-06:00

Because I said so.... You gotta problem with that?

2010-03-04T12:07:00.003-06:00

today is the day...........

when i stop wondering why.....

and start wondering why not.....

2010-03-02T13:12:00.004-06:00

pay no attention to those who talk behind your back...

it simple means you are two steps ahead...

a fish shaped waffle!??!

2010-02-28T22:10:00.001-06:00

i have to have one.

chang mai, thailand. november 2008.
seems like ages ago.

$1.59

2010-02-24T00:01:00.006-06:00

so... i just literally sat here for like 2 minutes trying to remember what i did this morning.

did i sleep in, did i work out, did i go to the bank, i did do other errands?? then i realize i went to the bank on my way to work at the ob, which i worked from 330pm to 845pm and then went and rode for 1 hour with lynnea, layton, and lindsay at alpine....

and then....

then i remembered...

i worked at alpine this morning.

i waited on 3 tables.

jim- the manager at our ticket office who comes in everyday cause he lives at the hotel.

a family of 4- which i called it by saying that the kids were going to order pancakes- cause kids always order pancakes.

and a gentleman- who was a little creepy, but i ended up talking to for like ever cause essentially i had no choice.

this is what we talked about:

first about skiing, obviously cause we are sitting in the atrium in the dining room looking directly at the largest ski hill at alpine. he tells me about how he is such a good skier and how he has like 4 pairs of skis, yadda yadda yadda.

Then he talks about skiing in Colorado and the courtesies of skiing on black diamond hills and if you are not meant to be on black diamond hills then you should not go there because you "don't belong there". He tells me this story because he continues it on with this one.

Last time he was in Colorado he went down an "expert" black diamond and since he is "so good" and he likes to go fast "cause he is so good" (mind you he keeps telling m how good he is) he goes straight down and there was a guy with "no business up there" and you could tell cause he was going back and forth and back and forth cause again, he has "no business up there" and he yelled he was coming on right and of course, that guy had "no business up there", so he had no idea the rules of skiing, so when a guy yells to the right then he should move to the left, but since he didn't know the rules cause he had "no business being up" there, so he turned right to hear him and since he turned right, his skis went right, so he went right cause "he had no business" being up there and crashed right in to him. and the crash was so loud the ski patrol ACTUALLY heard it from the lift. "Can you believe that?" The guy that crashed into him didn't even wait, he skied off right away cause the new colorado law stating if you hurt someone while skiing you are responsible (I did not know this, i guess it is kind alike a car, if you hit someone with your car, you are responsible, same thing goes with skiing now (this actually interested me))

My guy then told me that the ski patrol rushed over to him cause he thought he was definitely hurt bad, real bad, but no, my guy, even though he was in such pain, got up right away and skied off to look for the guy that hit him. He told me that though he was going extremely fast cause he is "such a good skier" he got a really good look at the guy. He looked from him for like 3 hours because he wanted to introduce this guy to his ski pole, "if you know what I mean" "chuckle-chuckle". He then proceed to tell my how he finally went to first aid the doctor told him he did not break anything, but he torn a bunch of things, so the smartest idea would for him to not ski anymore... My guy was really angry at that cause he just started his week long of skiing in Colorado and how he had to leave and therefore lose money on his hotel and his plane ticket, etc, cause he didn't want to do permanent damage.

um.... yeah.... so at this point I have to go get his food... perfect escape :)

So I come back with his food and then....

Then he started talking about courtesies of other countries, you know cause we were talking about the courtesies of ski hills (duh-haha-can't you see the connection) and he tells me how he has "traveled so much." He tells me how in his old business Mr. Sing likes to sit in the farthest spot away from the door cause he is from Hong Kong and facing the door because it is sign of authority. He tells me how he tells his boss this cause he knows and he takes the time to learn other cultures and how his boss thinks he is joking so he took that seat at dinner, so when his boss got up he had to explain to Mr. Sing that he told his boss about it, but his boss doesn't understand. And you see, Mr. Sing is okay with this cause even though he grow up in Hong Kong, he went to school at Harvard, and then went back to Hong Kong, to make his millions, so he is aware of American ignorance to other cultures, so it wasn't a big deal. (this is where I step in and talk about how Americans are not ignorant because of yadda yadda yadda. He wasn't interested in what I had to say cause then...

Then he talks about how another one of his bosses was from Germany and didn't know how to tip. He tells me how they go into this "fancy steak restaurant" "all the time" and how he notices that the waitresses are treating them differently when he goes to eat with the German boss then when he is by himself. He tells me that one day, his boss paid with cash, "for some reason" and he noticed that he left change, so my guy through another $5 on (which if he was at a "fancy steak restaurant" and the guy just left "change" does he really think $5 is going to make up for it??) and then how he had to explain to his German boss outside that he really offended that waitress cause in America tipping is different. He then tells me when he goes to other countries they "absolutely love him" cause he tips so well (he says this while opening up his arms, palms out, telling me that they LOVE him)

So, he then mentions how there is no one in the restaurant, therefore I can't be making any money today cause waitressing only get paid $2.33 an hour (at this point I don't tell him at Alpine I make a lot more, hourly, than that because of days like today, when there is no one in the restaurant) but I sugar coat it cause I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me and i don't want him to know how much I make cause it is really none of his business. I then explain that no, I am not making any money today, but how other days are really good and I get to go ride (snowboard) for free, anytime I want, so therefore I don't mind, it is worth it. I talk about, so he doesn't feel sorry for me and me not making any money today, that i work 2 jobs 5 days a week, the other day I only work one, and then I usually have one day off. I explain to him that I am making enough money for me to be happy and do the things I want to do.

But I also explained how hard it is to waitress, smiling for 15 hours straight, being able to multitask all day, and organize my time efficiently, to get peoples orders right and bring them free refill upon free refill. I talk to him about "the when you get a second" requests that don't really mean, when you get a second, etc., etc., (these I could go on with forever, but I stop).

So he then talks about.....

About how there is hope for our future because of young woman like you, who knows how hard it is work for what you want....

I am thinking how sweet... perfect spot to get away cause at this point I really got to go the bathroom, but then....

Then he talks about his friends stoner kids who are 19 and 21 (the 21 year old dropped out of community college cause he wanted to party all the time) (oh and how neither of them had jobs this summer) but smoke all the time and invite all their friends over and eat like 3 to 4 pizzas on a friday night and leaves his friend with no pizza on saturday night. And how they don't know what it is like to work for their money. He tells me that he asks his friend, whose name is Mark (just in case you wanted to know cause you know I did- haha) how his kids that have no jobs therefore no money, go out? Like when they go to the movies. His friend then tells him, which he is telling me cause I care so much that I almost doing a dance cause I have to go the bathroom, that his friend gives them his credit card that has Mark's name on it. "Can you believe it?"

At this point I don't remember what I say to finally leave this conversation, but I find something clever and jet out of there. I went the bathroom and went back to get the bill.

I tell him that it is now 1015 am and he better get going cause the lifts opened up at 10 am and the best time to ski is when no one is out there. So he agrees with me (not after a mini conversation about skiing with people on the hills- of course) and throws a $20 bill down and says you can just bring me $10 back. I grab it and walk away knowing that his bill for his king-sized, delicious, meat lovers omelet and hashbrowns with an english muffin, (which he asked about at some point in the conversation, if they were Bays E.M.? I told him I had no idea, but the label was orange and black and kinda like a badge cause that was all I could remember, he then confirmed that yes they were Bays and how Bays E.M. were like the best E.M. in the world (cause again.... I care his personal preference, but I was impressed that he could tell the difference and I actually congratulated him on that)) was $9.41. And he wanted a $10 back. Then midway to my purse to grab change, he stopped me and said, "Wait' that would be such a crappy tip after all we talked about.... "chuckle, chuckle" just bring my $9 back.

And this is where I just smiled, got his change, walked back over and said thank you very much, it was nice talking to you and then....

..... he continued a conversation on how he likes to go places by himself cause he gets to "bullshit" with people like me instead of his friends like Alan and Oli (cause again, I needed the names).

I told him to have a great day....

he told me, he already was....

and then...

that was it :)

and I made $1.59....

..... so please understand, that I do work for my money.... as you can see... very hard for it.

Hail to the KING

2010-02-22T14:57:00.000-06:00

the everyday taunts of my kitchen

2010-02-22T00:40:00.006-06:00

what did i come back with?

strawberry flavored fruit snacks....

chocolate covered pretzels....

cream cheese strawberry pie...

chili cheese fritos....

chocolate mocha meringue....

ice cream....

brownies....

spicy nacho cheese doritoes....

all of the above are in my kitchen right now, thanks to my mom :)

so....

right now....

is food: a reward or an addiction...

cause either way....

it needs discipline....

good haircuts, bad haircuts, and mervcuts,

2010-02-21T18:09:00.002-06:00

can you tell which is which??? me either....

the day before valentines day

2010-02-14T00:14:00.004-06:00

woke up at 530am this morning and left for work, 615am.
arrived at alpine at 643am- i was late!! as always :(
worked at alpine til 345pm
made it to the OB by 430pm
worked at the OB til 1105pm
arrive home at 1155pm.
all a good days work.

but p.s.
today i had a really good day...
i would like to thank everyone that made it possible.
and everyone that gave me some money!! as you can see i work hard for it :)

i love stuff like this...

2010-02-13T00:12:00.002-06:00

Official Site of We Are The World 25 For Haiti
Official Site of We Are The World 25 For Haiti

i love this song and how we ALL really are the world.

i like this one a little better though- from back in the day....

i hate my last post, but i am leaving there anyway.

2010-02-11T23:17:00.003-06:00

so i have been struggling, you if haven't been able to tell.

my mind is constantly wandering and cannot focus on one idea for more than a few minutes, maybe even seconds.

i write out these incredible messages, get half way through them and am on to my next thought.

my mind isn't even going in circles, it is going more like squares.

but...

i finally have a goal in mind.

but it is not really a goal.

it is my next investment.

the next thing i am desperately working and saving for.

it is minutes, hours, days, weeks, months of money for a 5 week- a 35 day- a 840 hour- 50400 minute (give or take a few) vacation.

to experience a different life, a different culture, a different world.

to open up my eyes and ears

to open up my heart and soul

to our world and our earth.

and the people that fill it.

this is my next goal...

and for some reason, right now i am struggling with it.

for some reason, i feel like i have to justify how i am living my life to the people that surround me.

that my goal isn't good enough for them.

my question is: what is their goal and what makes it better than mine?

i am working to live, not living to work.

i think some people are a bit confused.

i might be making a square right now, but the square box i am making, just keeps getting bigger.

and i am living outside of it.

and i am happy.

are you?

casey, adam, andy, and i in an orange form 20 years ago?

2010-02-10T23:10:00.006-06:00

for the first 20 seconds of this video:
i wonder if this is kinda what us little munchkins sounded like to my mom while playing in the pool or jumping off sylvester stanley smith's aka grandpa's pier.no actually not just the first 20 seconds...